Simply 27 brilliantly groansome dad jokes to take the edge off
Such is the world we all live in right now there’s never been a better time to follow @Dadsaysjokes on Twitter.
Brilliantly terrible, hilariously groansome and sometimes downright genius, here are 27 of the best…
1.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 24, 2020
2.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts.
It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne.”
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 29, 2020
3.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 18, 2019
4.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Quarantine.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 22, 2020
5.
I recently started a band called 999 Megabytes.
We’re good but we haven’t got a gig yet.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) May 1, 2019
6.
Me: I'm terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: (Screams)
Therapist: I see
Me: (Scream intensifies)
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 11, 2020
7.
We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it.
The current version has a nasty virus.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 23, 2020
8.
"Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?"
No idea, they just ransomware.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 6, 2019
9.
I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old newspapers…
The Times are rough.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 19, 2020
10.
Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) July 9, 2018
11.
Finland has just closed their borders.
No one will be crossing the finish line.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 19, 2020
12.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with.
She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 31, 2019
13.
There will be a baby boom in 9 months.
And in 2033 we’ll witness the rise of the quaranteens.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 14, 2020