19 funny Mother’s Day tweets to take the edge off the separation
This is going to go down in history as a very odd Mother’s Day, with the “Visit your mum and take her some flowers” message having undergone a hasty rewrite in light of us all being Typhoid Mary for the modern age.
Over on Twitter, that message and other Mother’s Day thoughts have been translated into some very funny comments.
Decided to ditch public transport and walked 7 miles to hand deliver a Mother’s Day card. I couldn’t go in but we spoke at distance, her from her front door. She looked at my red trainers and said “you walked seven miles in these? Just as well the streets are empty.”
— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) March 22, 2020
I see a lot of you claiming to have the “Best Mother Ever” and it’s this attempt to extrapolate from an inadequate and incomplete data set as well as confirmation bias that’s led us to the mess we’re in right now.
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) March 22, 2020
Happy Mother’s Day to all poor mums – like mine – spending it locked down on their own. Good news though – she’ll be out of solitary and back in the general prison soon.
— John Niven HQ (@estellecostanza) March 22, 2020
Happy Mother’s Day to my granny who sent me this an hour ago. What a woman. pic.twitter.com/lYrct2D1Dw
— Yuri Fan Account (@DRoantree) March 22, 2020
Carrying on the Mother’s Day tradition of putting my mother’s ornaments in provocative positions.
Already looking forward to the angry phone call I’ll get a week from today. pic.twitter.com/Ml0RaEHT1x
— Tokyo Sexwhale (@tokyo_sexwhale) March 22, 2020
Spare a thought for the single mothers today. It’s very hard to catch moths on your own#HappyMothersDay
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) March 22, 2020
This #mothersday remember to get your mum something she really wants, like Andrex double velvet, and a card that reads "I hope you make it"
— Chris Purchase (@ChrisPurchase) March 22, 2020
On #MothersDay you may not be with your mother in person. But there are still things you can do for her:
1. Whisper your love to the wind.
2. Weave her a rainbow of memories.
3. Send her a magical unicorn of gratitude in a dream.
4. Maybe lay off the drugs.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) March 22, 2020
— (@hari_miller) March 22, 2020
Baskerville, our two year old, just gave her #MothersDay present (a toilet roll) to my wife.
As it was being unwrapped, Baskie fixed her with a hard stare.
“Mummy, if you even think about visiting grandma today, you’re a cunt.”
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 22, 2020
Happy Mother's day to mine. She messaged me to say "I looked in the mirror this morning and I thought, oh God, I'm Alan Bennett". I thought "that's it, she's finally mindcurdled" when the supporting evidence arrived. #ohyesheisAlannow. pic.twitter.com/HXRi39DN0E
— Silky. Egg-lookin’ fella. (@paulsilkywhite) March 22, 2020