23 very funny jokes to help you through the coronacrisis

Good news, everybody – Boris Johnson says this coronavirus thing will be dealt with in 12 weeks. Any day now, they’ll bombard the UK with a multi-media Get Corona Done campaign and then BOOM! three years later, they’ll be blaming it on the EU and the economy will be devastated.

But before any of that happens, we can still enjoy these excellent jokes.

1.

My message is clear:
– Work from home if you can
– Avoid gatherings in small spaces
– Don’t hoard food and supplies
– Self isolate if you show symptoms
– Give cats extra treats pic.twitter.com/mISCffn98k

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) March 19, 2020

2.

The stages of hunkering down with your spouse:
1. Second honeymoon.
2. The honeymoon is over.
3. “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”
4. “The Shining.”

— Adam Roberts (@heyadamroberts) March 19, 2020

3.

was feeling nervous but I just got a covid-19 update from Halfords and I'm a bit more reassured

— joe (@mutablejoe) March 19, 2020

4.

Yes, thank you, clothes shop I bought a jumper from in 2011, this email DOES find me well in these uncertain times.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) March 19, 2020

5.

Nothing in the history of disappointment compares with our 7-yr old realising she’s the daughter of key workers

— Mike Hunter (@DrMikePsych) March 18, 2020

6.

Can anyone recommend a “Yoga for Dipshits” type online resource? Want to be able to teabag myself by the time this virus passes

— Ben Machell (@ben_machell) March 19, 2020

7.

Stuck at home self-isolating, so I thought I'd try one of those "What will you look like when you're older" apps pic.twitter.com/4TJ1J0TVHG

— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) March 19, 2020

8.

Him: you work from home all the time, how do you deal with the isolation?

Me: *mouth full of 8am icecream* I’m glad you’ve come to me about this matter

— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) March 19, 2020

9.

[months from now]

CDC: aight it’s safe to go outside

Me: *now fluent in 6 languages, daily phone calls with grandma, black belt, 8 hours+ sleep each night, skin looks AMAZING, befriended a spunky spider under the fridge* are…are you sure?

— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) March 19, 2020

10.

Where the fuck is MC Hammer in all this?
If ANYONE should be making viral content (no pun intended) to assist in getting people to stop touching places and faces they shouldn't, its him.

— Simon Pegg (@Simon_Pegg) March 19, 2020

11.

Boris Johnson refutes accusations his daily coronavirus updates are a bumbling waste of time, as he plans to present tomorrow’s in the form of Ed Sheeran pic.twitter.com/5ClkmNmZxc

— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) March 19, 2020

12.

Unfortunately I have had to postpone the launch of my book 500 Pasta Recipes For Toilet Paper Celebrations owing to the fact I haven't written it and also there's no such thing as a toilet paper celebration.

— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) March 19, 2020