Simply 13 coronavirus jokes to help take the edge off
As the country braces itself to find out how bad coronavirus is going to get – and how exactly the government’s response is going to shape up – here are 13 jokes about the bloody thing to help take the edge off, just a bit.
1.
It should be: "COVID-19 declared a pandemic by WHOM."
— John Gemberling (@Gemberlicking) March 11, 2020
2.
Correct decision. I'm not sure how you can coordinate a global response to a pandemic AND tour the UK at the same time. https://t.co/5oiAREzKui
— Ben Rathe (@benrathe) March 12, 2020
3.
Unnecessary tbh, the problem is *mass* gatherings https://t.co/YLZjLLQ0p4
— . (@twlldun) March 12, 2020
4.
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
— Liam Hackett (@DiageoLiam) March 12, 2020
5.
Which Pathogen Wore It Better: pic.twitter.com/R5WThrnWxt
— Scott Linnen (@ScottLinnen) March 11, 2020
6.
Must be quite hard for burglars at the moment with everyone staying in all the time. Yesterday night our alarm went off, and as I was going downstairs to check, wondered about just coughing loudly to scare them off.
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) March 12, 2020
7.
Holding off the virus by infecting myself with other diseases it won’t fuck with. Currently have botulism, scrofula and the mange, anyone suggest any others?
— . (@twlldun) March 12, 2020
8.
One upside of this self-isolation thing is I finally have an excuse for all these bottles of piss in my house
— Phil Wang (@PhilNWang) March 12, 2020
9.
I’m all for these no handshaking, no touching etc enforcements that are in place but, I’ll be honest, if there’s any talk of not being allowed to stroke other people’s dogs then I will NOT be happy.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) March 12, 2020
10.
I see we are all epidemiologists now. Go on, name your three favourite pandemics.
— . (@twlldun) March 12, 2020
11.
a quick reminder for if you are quarantined over the next few weeks – you don't need to write a novel, you are not the voice of your generation, no one is desperate to hear from you
— Becca Wright (@_beccawright) March 12, 2020
12.
Seen in Bath…….! Like WTF!?!?! 😳😲😮😧😦😯 pic.twitter.com/g4wdoEu2Xq
— 🇬🇧🍻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ (@BigBearF1) March 12, 2020
13.
Working from home
Day 1
Up & dressed
Has porridge
Works at deskDay 2
Up but in PJs
Has porridge
Works at deskDay 3
Up & in PJs
Eats Cornflakes from box
Works at deskDay 4
Up & in PJs
Has crisps
Works on sofaDay 5
Works from bed
Googles ‘Who delivers breakfast pizza?’— The Poke (@ThePoke) March 12, 2020
Image Pexels
