Simply 17 coronavirus jokes to help take the edge off (a little bit)
Here are 17 jokes a little bit (and sometimes a lot) related to coronavirus to help take the edge off while we count the days until the very worst case scenario – we run out of bog roll.
Someone on the radio said Britain will remain calm about the Coronavirus.
People phoned the police when KFC ran out of chicken
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 6, 2020
The corona virus can be spread through money. If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in to a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight. I'm collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health.
— Pre K ❄️ (@stayfrea_) March 4, 2020
Ever since it was brought to my attention that you can say “Covid-19” to the tune of “Come on, Eileen,” I’ve been unable to read it any other way
— Dr. David Shiffman (@WhySharksMatter) March 4, 2020
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna
I really really really wanna 9 pack of Andrex quilted, a bottle of Carex hand gel, two tins of tomatoes, and a 500g bag of penne please.
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) March 6, 2020
Just been sensibly stocking up on 45 packets of pasta and noticed a lot of idiots panic buying.
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) March 6, 2020
the tube in the time of coronavirus pic.twitter.com/Z3R7Bxo6cP
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) March 6, 2020
East London cares not for your plague panic. We will shit in our own good time. pic.twitter.com/2rvfuJsfpO
— Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) March 6, 2020
So it seems that what we fear the most is the inability to wipe our arses. #COVID19
— Dom Joly (@domjoly) March 6, 2020
To all Australians:
If you find yourself at home, staring at a large stockpile of toilet paper…🧻
You’ve contradicted the dreaded fuckwititis, and must be quarantined from society.
Because you’re now not a part of society. #toiletpaperpanic #toiletpaper #ToiletPaperEmergency pic.twitter.com/Lf0E6fZSsY
— Wade of Planet Earth (@Becauseofnow) March 6, 2020
I’m not worried about a shortage of toilet paper – I have set aside a substantial supply of things I can use instead:
-the Russia Report
-any briefing paper longer than 3 bullet points
-written complaints about Priti Patel#toiletpaperpanic #COVIDー19
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) March 6, 2020
What would you think if you saw this just a month ago? I’d assume wanking epidemic pic.twitter.com/ykB6MC1wor
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) March 6, 2020
Anyone want a Scotch egg?
I misheard and thought everyone was "picnic buying".
I've got thousands of them.#coronavirus
— Tony Cowards (@TonyCowards) March 6, 2020
— Georgina Hill (@GeorgiHill10) March 6, 2020
— Lindsay (@linzy_lou82) March 6, 2020
Toilet paper is out of stock. Cat litter isn't. You know what you need to do. #toiletpaperpanic
— Thomas G. Burt (@thomasgburt) March 6, 2020
— 𝐉𝐢𝐦 𝐃𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐬 (@thatjimdavis) March 6, 2020
The guy who invented hand sanitiser must be rubbing his hands together right now
— Kate PT3 (@KateMMA3) March 5, 2020