Simply 25 things that made us laugh this week
We’re about to see Storm Jorge hit the UK before we’ve even finished the clean-up from Storms Brendan, Ciara and Dennis.
Boris Johnson has yet to show his face in affected areas, but he has taken time out to discuss the coronavirus, for which the UK government has made contingency plans for mass graves.
It’s absolutely shocking – whoever heard of this government making plans? Luckily, funny tweeters have been toiling around the clock to give us a laugh.
1.
HS2 now estimated to be above £106bn but I don’t know if that’s for a single or return
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) February 24, 2020
2.
I've found that the most efficient way to get rid of sugar cravings is to eat stuff with sugar in it, like chocolate for example
— Agnes (@agnessjonsson) February 23, 2020
3.
oh no, that man has accidentally sat on a courgette! oh phew, no he hasn’t. hang on, yes he has. oh wait, no he hasn’t. yes he has. hasn’t. has… pic.twitter.com/lpMxPXw42M
— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) February 23, 2020
4.
Is it memory foam?
Or is it foam that just refuses to forget?
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) February 24, 2020
5.
perhaps the real message of The Lord of the Rings was that only people who are well-rested, enjoy plenty of leisure time and have a healthy work/life balance are capable of accomplishing what needs to be done
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) February 22, 2020
6.
Oh god it’s going to kill us isn’t it pic.twitter.com/KlKuysBrpL
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 24, 2020
7.
No, but I’m best mates with a biscuit *dies laughing* pic.twitter.com/n7R7LtNtCO
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) February 24, 2020
8.
Friend announces to her office on Friday that she's off to see Emma. Young colleague looks confused. Friend explains that it's a Jane Austen.
Young colleague still looks confused: 'Nope. Think I'm showing my age here.'
AS IF MY FRIEND WAS ALIVE DURING THE NAPOLEONIC WARS.— Sophia Money-Coutts (@sophiamcoutts) February 23, 2020
9.
🎵”Suss-suss-sausages”🎵 pic.twitter.com/IHkFNT3y6b
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) February 26, 2020
10.
I mean seriously, how often do you really look at a man's shoes? pic.twitter.com/fB9kQ0eGYc
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) February 25, 2020
11.
I've been thinking about the short and medium term future of my career for a while now and have concluded that I need to be independently wealthy and for that wealth to be inherited
— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) February 24, 2020
12.
We don’t talk about it, but alongside our showbiz work, my husband and I run a towel sanctuary. This is Stripy. Tattered and threadbare, a lot of people would throw Stripy away, but we’re letting her live out her days in the warmth and safety of our linen cupboard. pic.twitter.com/m04dOrnXh8
— Lucy Porter (@lucyportercomic) February 24, 2020
