The 25 funniest things from this week
This week has seen more storms – wind and rain across the UK, a punitive immigration system, and accusations of bullying against Priti Patel in the halls of Westminster.
Over on Twitter, things were just as stormy, but considerably funnier – particularly these 25 funny things.
1.
No horror film scares me like when I’m on my phone next to my sleeping wife and accidentally click onto a loud video.
— Romesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga) February 19, 2020
2.
My 5 year old has just made a hands free iPad viewer out of an empty box.
Disturbing Blue Peter / Black Mirror crossover 😂 pic.twitter.com/WwsdsFCktn— Konnie Huq (@Konnie_Huq) February 16, 2020
3.
Me: [Googles a couple of brands of whisky to use as references for a work project]
Facebook algorithms: "We acknowledge and support your sudden alcoholism. Here are several dozen other types of hard spirits you may consider buying that we'll remind you about every 3 minutes"
— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) February 14, 2020
4.
Just had to explain to someone that the Netherlands and their Nether Regions were NOT the same place…
— Dr Amir Khan GP (@DrAmirKhanGP) February 15, 2020
5.
Run into @GreggsOfficial earlier waiting for a yum yum and sly guy taking loads of pics of me queuing up. Honestly no need to do it on the sly just ask and I would have layed on the counter and posed. pic.twitter.com/AHIPKuar1d
— Rylan Clark-Neal (@Rylan) February 20, 2020
6.
Made the taxi wait an extra 10 min tonight then got in it and said “sorry about the wait” tae which he replied “don’t worry pal av always been this size” whole new level of taxi patter
— Jamie (@123_jamiebell) February 15, 2020
7.
Sometimes I think I’ve got my shit together and then I remember we still only have a cheese grater I won in a cracker pic.twitter.com/bmiOxZLZU5
— Alexandra Haddow (@MissAHaddow) February 20, 2020
8.
5 drinks to get to know me
– Tea
– Tea that has gone cold because I forgot about it
– Reheated tea
– Tea that has been left in the microwave because I forgot I'd reheated it
– Cold tea— Holly Brockwell (@holly) February 17, 2020
9.
When I married my husband I said ‘for better or worse’, I DID NOT say that I would stay with him if he put scones in the toaster
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) February 16, 2020
10.
As Boris Johnson is told to sack an adviser with “sinister views", No 10 asks if they could narrow it down a bit.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) February 17, 2020
11.
It seems my mother-in-law’s oven comes with VAR. Now every time she cooks a chicken I’m going to check for a fowl. pic.twitter.com/sPwb9XUxOp
— Ivor Baddiel (@Ivorbaddiel) February 17, 2020
12.
Me: can I take please take a picture of the moon?
Pisa tower: yeah sorry. pic.twitter.com/kAGQo1Yo7Z
— Daniel Edwards (@danieledwardsma) February 16, 2020
