Simply 23 brilliantly terrible dad jokes that are guaranteed to take the edge off
From the very followable @Dadsaysjokes on Twitter come these 23 classics of the genre, brilliantly terribly and hilarious groansome dad jokes that are guaranteed to take the edge off everything else that is happening right now.
1.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 18, 2019
2.
I recently started a band called 999 Megabytes.
We’re good but we haven’t got a gig yet.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) May 1, 2019
3.
Me: I'm terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: (Screams)
Therapist: I see
Me: (Scream intensifies)
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 11, 2020
4.
"Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?"
No idea, they just ransomware.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 6, 2019
5.
Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) July 9, 2018
6.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with.
She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 31, 2019
7.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
No sun.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 7, 2019
8.
I am giving up drinking for a month.
Sorry that came out wrong.
I am giving up. Drinking for a month.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 19, 2019
9.
Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I’m not joking, but he is.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 6, 2020
10.
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
I’ll let you know.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) April 6, 2019
11.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 15, 2020
12.
I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500…
IM LIVID
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 18, 2020
