This guy decided to shave his butt and instantly regretted it (NSFW)
We know you’re busy, so we don’t normally expect you to do much reading, but when we saw this post in the TIFU – Today I Fucked Up – subreddit, it was too funny to ignore.
BabyHooey called his post “TIFU by shaving my butt” but it doesn’t convey the levels of OH MY GOD it truly deserves.
I’m a dude. I got a little carried away with personal grooming time. My usual mindset is along the lines of “trim the grass but don’t scorch the earth,” and I’m not really into body shaving. But I had the brilliant idea that maybe a non-hairy butt might be something nice to explore, so on a whim, I decided to give it a go.
I failed to take into consideration what a massive undertaking this would turn out to be. Even if you’re normal-sized, your butt is bigger than you think. It’s not like shaving your face, where there’s a relatively small amount of surface that needs actual shaving. A butt represents a decent-sized parcel of real estate.
And even if you’re not super hairy, the hair is probably widespread, which means you probably have to shave the whole thing.
With my face, I get maybe two or three swipes of the razor before I have to rinse off the blade. With my butt, as it turns out, I get about half a swipe before the razor is full. And I mean full in a “rinse it off, oops that didn’t work, I guess I’m going to have to swipe backward against a washcloth or towel and then rinse it off some more” kind of a way.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to throw out this washcloth because even after washing it, it still has the appearance of my grandparents’ shag carpet.
Also, even if you’re flexible, your butt’s kind of difficultly positioned and awkward to reach. I had to keep reminding myself which way I was going, and at some point, I developed a very real fear that I was accidentally going to do a sideways swipe instead of a vertical swipe, which would disastrous for obvious reasons.
