18 irritating questions everyone asks while thinking they’re the first
Journalist and broadcaster, Pete Paphides, has been writing about and sharing music for decades, so he has a wealth of dealing with the general public in a professional capacity, as well as by being recognisable to the fandom.
He recently asked a question that implied a certain weary knowledge of the probable answers.
Is there an aspect of your work that involves dealing with the public? Is there a particular thing that people say to you all the time whilst thinking they’re the first person to have said it?
— Pete Paphides (@petepaphides) February 6, 2020
Twitter’s response suggests that almost everyone who has contact with other people might be wandering around hoping they don’t get asked that one question – again.
1.
Every make-up artist will tell you that any man sitting in a make-up chair for the first time will say ‘short back and sides please’ and wait for the laugh.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) February 6, 2020
2.
"O your little pictures really remind me of Quentin Blake!" (Said to every illustrator ever working in ink)
— Danny Noble (@MundyMorn) February 7, 2020
3.
"this is strictly off the record"
YOU OVERESTIMATE HOW INTERESTING YOUR ANECDOTE IS. https://t.co/hr8xmvBcVK— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) February 7, 2020
4.
“Oh, I’ll tell you who’s funny…”
— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish) February 7, 2020
5.
Back in the percussion-playing days, while trying to manoeuvre a heavy and cumbersome drum through a too-narrow door: ‘Bet you wish you played the piccolo!’ https://t.co/roewkQRpQg
— Lev Parikian (@LevParikian) February 7, 2020
6.
Shuffling in pretending to be blind, then saying "two cod and chips please. This is the chippy isn't it?" in the every opticians practice I've ever worked in.
— Tony Macklin (@MacklinTony) February 7, 2020
7.
“Oh, you must be good at Scrabble!”
(Spoiler alert: I’m actually not very good at Scrabble)
— Haggard Hawks 📚🦅 (@HaggardHawks) February 7, 2020
8.
When I worked in a restaurant, at a rough estimate I’d say approximately 460000% of people who ordered soup on a hot day would laugh about it and say “perfect for this weather!” and I would die a little inside every time. https://t.co/UrnXnC3JBV
— Paul Anthony Jones (@paulanthjones) February 7, 2020
9.
I'm a nurse, when giving a drug I ask allergic to anything
Answer
Hospitals
Hahahaha— Colin Harvey Rowe (@colinhrowe) February 6, 2020
10.
"What do you think happened to Richey Edwards?"
— Simon Price (@simon_price01) February 7, 2020
11.
“Ooh that must be really interesting. Does everything come alive at night?”
When you work in a museum like me. https://t.co/MEW6K1A7Sd
— K! (@kevak1969) February 7, 2020
12.
“Ooohhhh no sugar in my tea thanks! I’m sweet enough! Hahahahah” https://t.co/Cmuw4QIlNs
— Abbie Chaundy (@AbbieChaundy) February 6, 2020
13.
“Oh youre a writer? Let me tell you in great detail about the unoriginal Bret Easton Ellis style novel I’ve been writing between working for a tech start-up—rather than ask you any questions about your work.” — All men. https://t.co/ne84geY98F
— Chimene Suleyman (@chimenesuleyman) February 7, 2020
14.
So so so many. One of the worst is men over 50 (it’s always men over 50.) replying “nah I’ve left her in the house” with the occasional fun addition of “doing the dishes” when asked if they’d like a bag 🙄 https://t.co/Ly0IdWsvo4
— Mairi Morrison (@DoMairiAFavour) February 7, 2020
15.
“You must get a lot of Harry Potter jokes.” Never a Harry Potter joke, always the line, “You must get a lot of Harry Potter jokes.”
(Then I ask what Harry Potter is.) https://t.co/0276vp9VE5— Hermione Hoby (@hermionehoby) February 7, 2020
16.
When I worked at Megabowl people giving you their shoes, seeing you holding the spray “oh you’d better give mine an extra spray”. Do you have any idea how many pairs of shoes you give out on a weekend https://t.co/5uS3srYU9L
— Chris Tindall (@chewytheleftie) February 7, 2020
17.
‘What do you do?’
‘I have a travel business’
‘Oh well if you need someone to test out holidays for you!’
Yes Sheila, I make a living by sending people on free luxury holidays.— Sarah (@sarahholstead) February 7, 2020
18.
Working as a waiter in a seafood restaurant. Putting down the water & lemon finger bowl in advance. The man always: “soup’s a bit thin!” Or “is that my gin & tonic?”. Him: Guffaw guffaw. Me: ho ho
— mel walden (@melwalden) February 7, 2020
We just know that you’re looking at some of those replies and cringing because you’ve said them yourself. Oh, okay …we are.
Source Pete Paphides Image @raphaellovaski on Unsplash
