17 hilarious times people seemed to be ill – but they really weren’t
When I was a kid my mom took me to school for pre-K testing. Dressed me up in new pants, saddle shoes, cardigan, the works. She cried all day when they told her I’d be in special ed because of no motor skills. Dad had me retested in clothes that fit and I did much better.
— Followers in the Attic (@JCC_72) January 26, 2020
Lol. I was convinced I had a brain tumour. Was driving. Terrible headache. Blurred vision. Turns out my clip on visor was too tight and my sunglasses were dirty
— Lezleemac (@lezleemac) January 27, 2020
I thought I had diabetes one time. Every time I peed it would smell sweet. Excess sugar in the urine! Turns out my wife put an air freshener in our toilet…
— Joe Martin (@HsvBootCamp) January 26, 2020
When I was an infant, there was apparently a medium sized brown birthmark on my head. My mom thought it was new so she didn't wash that area before she took me to the docs.
It was chocolate.
— Kelly Gail (@KGSchn) January 26, 2020
I went to Mexico and floated around a lazy river for a week enjoying some margaritas. When I got home I had large brown spots on my abdomen. That was it. I over did it. I had skin cancer. Turns out lemons and sun and water stain your skin. My dr called it ‘margaritavitis’.
— Kate (@kateraider) January 26, 2020
Had hip injections one day under sedation, went to have a shower that night and saw a massive black line down my leg. Thought part of my leg was dying off… nope just the marker they used to guide the needles
— katsit (@katvic85) January 26, 2020
I once went to an Urgent Care for what I swore was Strep Throat, because it looked like my tonsils were covered in white mucous.
After swabbing my tonsils, the Doctor told me it was bread. F'ing bread from a sandwich I ate earlier that day.
— Ajde (@AjdeSuti) January 26, 2020
Suddenly started seeing double when outside the house talking to my wife. Quite disoriented I came inside to check the internet for a diagnosis. I was closely followed by my wife who was holding a lens from one side of my glasses which she picked up where I had been standing.
— ◣ ◢ (@ImplodedView) January 26, 2020
Finally, Ken Gribble had a suggestion that might just quell the rising tide of hypochondria.
For every WebMD entry there should also be a section that is called, "Maybe You Ain't Dyin'", with all the things that could safely be happening.
For instance, under "Peeing Blood", should be a question, "Did you just eat an shit-ton of beets?"
Because, yeah. Exciting! Whew! https://t.co/fEmpaR8gg6
— ɪʟᴛᴇᴅ ᴇɴ (@ken_gribble) January 27, 2020