17 hilarious times people seemed to be ill – but they really weren’t
Writer Mark Shrayber recently shared a story about an incredibly embarrassing mistake he’d made after treating himself to some new jeans.
Went to the ER because “my legs have turned blue and Web MD says I have deep vein thrombosis.”
Was this it? The big one?
No! I have the “dumbass who doesn’t wash his new jeans before wearing them” disease and I would like to be executed immediately.
— Mark (@MShrayber) January 25, 2020
His post went viral, partly because it was pretty funny, but also because it was highly relatable, as these similar anecdotes hilariously demonstrate.
A day after my husband got his appendix out he was in agony. He was so sore that he was crying. He said it was worse than the appendicitis. A nurse moved him on to his side and moved up his knee. He then gave out the longest, biggest fart and was absolutely fine after it.
— Jackie B (@itsnottuesday) January 26, 2020
I took my ex to the ER because he was in tears from abdominal pains. He wouldn’t go on his own because he was “afraid they’re going to find something seriously wrong with [him].”
There was, he needed more fiber in his diet because his poop was all stopped up. pic.twitter.com/LFIEzoqK0U
— Valentine’s Day Sassacre ️ (@HeauxP) January 26, 2020
If it makes you feel better, I had abdominal surgery and ended up back in the ER the next day because my stool was red.
They tested a sample, of course, then one nurse asked: what have you been eating?
And that's how I found out living on jello for a while can stain things.
— Trace the Mighty ️ (@thetidebreaks) January 25, 2020
Went through a phase where I was seriously concerned I had a brain tumor or something because everything I ate – including things like pasta with marinara sauce- tasted like peppermint. Finally realized a bottle of peppermint extract had spilled all over my pots and pans
— Stephanie H. Damassa (@SLHDC) January 25, 2020
My daughter took her child to the dr after noticing a weird black area on the roof of her mouth. It was ‘pussy and oozing’. Turns out she’d eaten a plum and some of the skin had attached to the roof for a couple days.
— Hello (@fiscalconserve) January 27, 2020
My daughter, at 15, googled her symptoms and called me at work in a panic because she had all the signs of sickle cell anemia. Once I stopped laughing I asked if she had read anything about the disease..she said no. I made my lily white child ho google the disease
— Susan kamppi #resignnow (@susankamppi) January 26, 2020
Reminds me of the time I was about to take my 6 month old to the ER because his foot was purple. Turned out SOMEBODY forgot to add on his daycare sheet that they were doing foot print painting that day
— Black Girl Reviews (@moviebuffchick2) January 26, 2020
Had a dr apt two days ago bc my 2yr old had jet black poop. Turns out my 6yr old has been training him to play nice with Black licorice and Oreos…. like a lot of Oreos.. learned a lot about my kids only cost me $80 bucks and some embarrassment.
— A.Jay (@imhiding_goaway) January 26, 2020
When I was in middle school I sat my parents down to tell them I have cancer bc I had mysterious bruises all over my body. When they finally stopped laughing at me they explained that I sleep walk into a table every night.
— Karadelphia ♂ (@KaraNextWeek) January 25, 2020