15 times Sarah Dempster made Twitter a funny place to be

Comedy writer Sarah Dempster has a knack for making the news – and more besides – as funny as it can get within a 280-character limit. If you’re looking for reliably entertaining, her account is a great place to find it.

With that in mind, we’ve gathered a few of our favourite @Dempster2000 tweets for you to enjoy.

1.

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Cunt. pic.twitter.com/DZGdZDcLpw

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) September 6, 2019

2.

Tesco’s Christmas message seems a trifle brusque pic.twitter.com/3X30FWkiT7

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) December 23, 2019

3.

Christ. Imagine. Like being bodyslammed on a chaise longue by Great Uncle Bulgaria. pic.twitter.com/79h3MjAugn

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 9, 2019

4.

BREAKING: KEIR STARMER’S WIFE HAS SKINNED BORIS JOHNSON AND IS WEARING HIS PELT TO A POLLING STATION pic.twitter.com/MJxjde4d1V

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) December 12, 2019

5.

So. Farewell then, Rory Stewart. Doomed to wander the land as an ageless discourse-sprite after stealing a golf umbrella from a wizard’s Peugeot.

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 4, 2019

6.

Get, and I cannot stress this enough, tae fuck. pic.twitter.com/haVSUlLTnP

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) January 1, 2020

And then there are these …

7.

Bake Off fact: Paul Hollywood is known as a silver fox because he eats voles and urinates in bins.

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) August 4, 2019

8.

“Are you sure the ‘implied strangulation by an effete barrister in a condemned Edwardian boarding house’ look is the best way to flog women's shoes?”
“Yes. Now imply harder”. pic.twitter.com/1BVRcVKZjI

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 5, 2019