17 of the funniest and stupidest bleep requests doctors ever received
The NHS is usually in the news because of worries over what might happen to it under a US-UK trade deal, or when reports come out about problems with the service, but anyone who’s used it knows it’s priceless and unique.
For the people who work within it, however, not all of their time is being used as constructively as it could be.
Consultant Anaesthetist Dave Jones asked medical Twitter this question …
Hospital doctors. What’s the stupidest bleep/request you’ve ever received?
— Dave Jones 🏴🏳️🌈 (@WelshGasDoc) January 15, 2020
He had an example to get the ball rolling – the medicine ball, presumably.
I think mine was because two elderly patients were “quarrelling” and it was apparently the role the Medical Reg (as I was at the time) to mediate it.
— Dave Jones 🏴🏳️🌈 (@WelshGasDoc) 15 January 2020
Patient A (F 85) had run off with Patient B’s (F 88) husband (dead, and had been for some time), and they had ended up in the same bay on the ward. I wasn’t equipped to unpick some 50 years of bitterness, so I just left them to it.
— Dave Jones 🏴🏳️🌈 (@WelshGasDoc) 15 January 2020
These were our favourite anecdotes.
1.
Asked by nurses on an outlying ward to specify which flavour of ensure I wanted for the patient.
When I said any, they made me come back and write it.
Then they bleeped me to let me know "any" was not a flavour https://t.co/Lidu3C8UDh
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) January 16, 2020
2.
Biomedical Scientist not Doc but bleeped for urgent Malaria Screen on a 76 F pt who had never been out of the country but had passed Swansea Airport the day before.
— Paula (@PaulaGriffiths7) January 16, 2020
3.
2014: 2am bleep from Med Reg to me, Anaesthetic Novice, "Sarah, please come now! This patient either has status epilepticus or is possessed. She may need a tube or some sort of exorcism and I'm too scared to be in a room with her alone…"
No…I'm not joking 🤣 https://t.co/rVwrmXEMIZ
— Sarah (@perkleberry) January 16, 2020
4.
1:45AM: went to bed after a crazy day in the labour ward,
CUG rings at 2:30AM,
Nurse: doc a patient needs u.
Me: wots d issue?
Nurse: I dunno, she jst screamed Dr
A few mins later,
Me: wots d issue Madam?
Patient: there's a rat in here
Me: do I look like a rat catcher? https://t.co/rNA96VmoR9
— Adunni Achebe (@Adunni_Achebe) January 18, 2020
5.
#pagedbecause a nurse accidentally declared a patient dead instead of discharging them on the EPR, and apparently IT wanted medical staff to confirm the patient was in fact, alive, before fixing it https://t.co/bOsah7xNKy
— Techpriest (@techpriest) January 16, 2020
6.
Can never forget being called at around 1am because there was no bedsheet for the patient my consultant wanted to admit.
I was so pissed off and thinking about it >2yrs later still makes me mad. https://t.co/kFFEROvHRV— Olowe Yanmike (@y_icey) January 16, 2020
7.
A call on a Friday night. Long time ago. Parents had hired someone to perform an exorcism on their hospitalised child. Night manager in charge asked me was that ok.
— David Vaughan (@davidjvaughan) 16 January 2020
8.
Intense night shift on Labour Ward;
finally managed to trudge away to the on-call room around 4am to lie down, nauseous & broken.
Woken by bleep only a few mins later, so groggy.Midwife had lost her pen – wondered if I’d seen it.
I had not.
— Suman Biswas ♬ (@amateursuman) 16 January 2020
9.
There's a fox in the main corridor… someone has nicked the tv in the mess… a window is broken that needs repairing… can you change the time on the clock…can you change a lightbulb… take your pick. Suppose problems associated with being 6 ft 5 https://t.co/rehpErmZPe
— Nick Murch (@AcuteMedEd) January 16, 2020
