A misogynist’s “How to be a woman” instructions went down as well as you’d expect – the 8 hottest burns
A misogynist contrarian posted a list of instructions on how to be a woman, presumably due to his extensive personal experience of doing it. This is what he advised.
It’s pretty impressive, considering they don’t even have the internet in 1952, which is obviously where he lives. It didn’t go down well; not well at all.
1.
What the fuck is this bell end going on about? https://t.co/WI6rwg3IFt
— Anna Paquin (@AnnaPaquin) December 14, 2019
2.
How to radiate Small Dick Energy
– Make a list like this: https://t.co/mHsxNGNBUv
— (@veganmillsy) December 14, 2019
3.
The penis fish have learned to tweet https://t.co/xzfC85AVsU
— Elaine Feeney (@elainefeeney16) December 15, 2019
A lot of people wrote their own lists.
4.
How to be a Woman
– Jump up in the air, hit heavy fuckin kick
– Fuckin
– LIGHT PUNCH
– MEDIUM PUNCH
– LIGHT KICK
– HEAVY PUNCH
– Hold diagonal in whichever direction you fuckin GOIN
– OH
– OH
– OH
– OH
– DROP THAT SHIT https://t.co/ZkouJ2EDhO— Homo Demon (@homo_demon) December 15, 2019
5.
How to be a woman
– Swordfight your foes
– Defend your galleon from the Spanish Privateers
– Chug grog like water
– Fistfight anyone who dates question your right to rule the seas
– Broadside a spice galley and steal the indigo
– Dodge the Royal Navy
– Song shanties in Tortuga https://t.co/tuYulW1hzI— Chowderhead (@TheChowderhead) December 15, 2019
6.
How to be a worm-man
-be tubular
-wriggle a lot
-wriggle more
-become 2 worms when bifurcated
-get on the sidewalk in the rain
-forget to get off the sidewalk in the sun
-be the object of a schoolyard dare https://t.co/ap9Avm8HG5— Adrian Bauer (@AdrianGBauer) December 15, 2019
7.
How to be a Man
-Don’t try to control others’ looks, thoughts & actions
-Be secure in defying what society deem “His” & “Her” roles
-Be strong enough to care for perspectives & experiences besides your own
-Value wisdom/knowledge above ego
-Respect women unconditionally
-HYGIENE https://t.co/qZI8ZlioP6— Saint Negrolas™ (@RandyS0725) December 14, 2019
There was even an appropriate little offering from Disney’s Mulan.
8.
How to be a Man:
-Be Swift as the coursing river
-Have all the force of a great typhoon
-Have all the strength of a raging fire
-Be mysterious as the dark side of the moon. https://t.co/aWJ2lurwiD— Chelsea D. LaLicata (@DemonRin) December 15, 2019
Actor Jameela Jamil said what a lot of people were probably thinking.
Lol as if this man has ever had a girlfriend…
— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) 14 December 2019
Source @CGDelvallejr Image @CGDelvallejr, marbocatcat on Unsplash
