25 funny things to take your mind off the news
For no good reason other than – have you seen the news lately? – here are 25 funny things to give us respite from the news.
1.
I still think it's ridiculous that Foie Gras rhymes but Sean Bean doesn't.
— a man called alan (@crowbloke) December 7, 2019
2.
No wonder he shortened his name for his television show… pic.twitter.com/0Wylu2BIBh
— CJ de Mooi (@cjdemooi) December 7, 2019
3.
Boxers take the piss when they skip. They try look all flash by waving the rope above their heads and doing it off to the side but that’s easy compared to having two of your mates either end spinning it fast while you’re in the middle trying to remember a nursery rhyme.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) December 8, 2019
4.
When you’ve just set the dishwasher going but you find an extra mug pic.twitter.com/27ldqfJpv2
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 8, 2019
5.
No, I’m 103 years old! pic.twitter.com/Y1RoZzgjrR
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) December 9, 2019
6.
Me: *adopts a snow leopard online*
[Later, the front door slams]
Snow Leopard: Hi Dad, can I have money for a new phone?
Me: Wait, what the…
— Brynnester 🎄 (@brynnester) December 9, 2019
7.
It's been a weird old morning.
On the way to work I found a hat full of money, then some nutter with a guitar started chasing me.
You could NOT make it up..— Gastown Gordon (@GJohnstone2) December 10, 2019
8.
Don't park in front of my house unless you're Keanu Reeves, you're delivering a package, or preferably both.
— Cathryn 💚 (@AngryRaccoon2) December 13, 2019
9.
My wife has just WhatsApped me the Christmas bin schedule, if anyone wants to know what twenty years of marriage looks like. pic.twitter.com/RIOXl3v5Qw
— Michael Glasper (@michaelglasper) December 11, 2019
10.
If you're looking for a well groomed, great looking, strong, tall, 6'2 man with rock hard abs could you pass me the last donut before you get up to go look for him?
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) December 12, 2019
11.
It's important to remember in these crisis times that there are also stories of hope. pic.twitter.com/HkQUx9YOO4
— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) December 11, 2019
12.
Me: Time for bed.
Brain: Ok.
Me Night.
Brain: Night.
Me:
Brain: Is tiramisu short for tiramisusan?
— cluedont (@cluedont) December 8, 2019
