17 jokes to celebrate being almost at the general election finish line

It’s election day tomorrow, at the time of writing, although if you’re reading this later, we can’t believe that idiot got a landslide/it’s another bloody hung parliament (delete as necessary).

If you haven’t made up your mind, we can’t help, but if you want to have a laugh while you think about it, we’re all over that.

1.

Ok if you were in a relationship with someone for 9 years and they treated you like crap and had lied to you loads, and created loads of division amongst people you both knew and didn’t and then they were like “Hey, let’s give it another 4 years!”
Wouldn’t you be like…no?

— 🌹Nicola Coughlan🌹 (@nicolacoughlan) December 10, 2019

2.

Despite repeated discussions with Conservative Central Offical I’m afraid Boris Johnson is running scared and refusing to appear on Pointless Celebrities. If he’d had the guts to appear I wanted to ask him about Kurt Russell films and to name a Christmas number one from the 1970s

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 6, 2019

3.

Convince people you’re Boris Johnson by screaming “WE’LL GET BREXIT DONE!” at random strangers then stealing their phones.

— JCB (@mrnickharvey) December 10, 2019

4.

MATT HANCOCK’S ADVISER pic.twitter.com/B2Igk6JfKF

— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) December 9, 2019

5.

Fun fact! If you say Get Brexit Done in the mirror three times Boris Johnson turns up at your house, closes your local firestation, cuts the police budget in the constituency, cuts nursing staff to your local hospital, insults you and your family and tells you to stop moaning.

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) December 6, 2019

6.

I wonder if next spring's election will be more or less bitter than this one.

— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) December 6, 2019

7.

“#JeremyCorbyn is going to take us back to the 1970’s” I wish!!! In 1974 I bought my first house, I was 19 years old. I was an office junior, my husband a carpenter. In the 1970’s my doctor, who actually knew my name, did house calls. In the 1970’s there were 0 #FoodBanks #bbcqt

— Lynn Kelly (@Sparkyxxx) December 5, 2019

8.

he’s dropped “thou shalt not commit adultery” and “thou shalt not bear false witness” for some reason pic.twitter.com/engeiwto4U

— . (@twlldun) December 5, 2019

9.

Boris Johnson's Conservative Party and the British electorate pic.twitter.com/qezwEhBFR0

— Simon Bruni (@SimonBruni) December 3, 2019