Donald Trump gag wins Gold’s Christmas cracker competition

Donald Trump likes to think of himself as a winner so no doubt he’ll be delighted that a joke about the US president has won Gold’s modern Christmas Cracker joke competition.

It’s the seventh year that TV channel Gold has challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes, and this was the 2019 winner.

And because everyone loves a Christmas cracker joke, here are this year’s top 10 – IN FULL!

1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with china.

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.

4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.

5. What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.

6. Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.

7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she’s a swede dish campaigner.

8. What’s the difference between Rudolph’s nose and David Cameron’s autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.

9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.

10. What is Olivia Colman’s favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.

Entries were made via Twitter and shortlisted by a panel of judges led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau before going out to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 Briish adults.

Here’s what Bruce had to say about this year’s entries: ‘Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through. With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of scrooges.’

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, said: “The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although we’ve certainly had our ups and downs, it’s incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever.”

The author of the winning joke received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own top gag, while the writers of the top 6 gags all received a bespoke box of crackers.