The 25 funniest jokes and pics from this week
It’s a very stressful time of year, with a better than average chance of accidentally hearing Mariah Carey, and the looming general election isn’t helping. This is why we need to sit down, have a break and read these 25 funny things from the past week.
Parking in London is a joke pic.twitter.com/sDS5kIow12
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) November 29, 2019
“This time next year Rodders…” pic.twitter.com/oW21xnOXAL
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) December 4, 2019
It's weird how fingers grow their own little shields but balls are just out there winging it
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) November 30, 2019
Why does Jose Mourinho look like he’s channelling a message and is asking you ‘if you know anyone by the name of Mary’? pic.twitter.com/1oii4dpkpB
— Mo' (@mocent0) November 29, 2019
Tip: Help workmates who say “I can’t believe it’s December already!” by directing their attention to a calendar and explaining how it works.
— Arena Flowers (@ArenaFlowers) December 1, 2019
I’ve said it before but apparently I need to repeat myself: how can camping be a holiday when it’s worse than normal life
— Mhairi McFarlane (@MhairiMcF) December 3, 2019
Women of a certain age – during menopause, is it normal to have crippling pain with every (now 4mthly) period? And now that the men have scrolled past, the world domination meeting is still on – we meet at the clock tower at 6pm sharp. Wear flat shoes.
— Jo🌻⚫️ #FBPE #RevokeA50 #StopTheCoup (@joelymack) December 3, 2019
How a baby is made, by london underground 👶 pic.twitter.com/bLcGOm5MW7
— David Rooney 🏳️🌈 (@rooneyvision) December 3, 2019
I just saw someone drinking from a bottle of water while having a wee. Make your mind up mate.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 2, 2019
Peter Pan: parents missing
Aladdin: parents missing
The Sword in the Stone: parents missing
The Rescuers: parents missing
Oliver & Company: parents missing
Meet the Robinsons: parents missing
I think it's pretty clear who's REALLY living happily ever after in Disney movies.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 4, 2019
ME: *brings a lower love*
STEVE WINWOOD: What the fuck is this
— Michael Enjoys the Work of Helen Hunt 🌶 (@Home_Halfway) December 4, 2019
Looks like Jacob Rees Mogg is off on his center parcs holiday… pic.twitter.com/dLyUBA4flo
— Davood Ghadami (@DavoodGhadami) November 30, 2019