Jay Rayner’s story of what he did with his mother Claire’s ashes is just the most amazing tale
Here’s restaurant critic, writer and much else besides Jay Rayner sharing the story on Twitter of what he did with the ashes of his mother and father.
His mum, you probably already know, was agony aunt, writer and broadcaster Claire Rayner. When we say it’s quite the tale, that’s really only the half of it.
Over to Jay.
THREAD. Let me tell you a story. Though my ma, Claire, died in 2010 and my dad in 2015 my sister and I weren't able to get their ashes together until earlier this year (for reasons I won't bore you with). We'd long planned to scatter them in appropriate places. In april we did 1/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
My dad Des Rayner, was a terrific painter (read more about him here: https://t.co/T3WacF88OP). He'd always said the nearest he'd get to Tate Britain was if his ashes were scattered on the steps so that was the first stop.I was sitting on those steps scattering the ashes when…2/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
…I looked up and saw a senior chap using the handrail. As he got closer I realised it was Ken Clarke. The current politics makes curious bed fellows; I thanked him for his statements of sanity in the house. He nodded as I got out the way to let him pass, then… 3/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
…he stomped straight through my dad's ashes and walked him into the Tate on his hush puppies. Excellent. Job done. And thank you Ken Clarke 4/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
Next we took Claire to the Royal College of Nursing. She started her working life as a nurse in the very late 40s, and ended that way too, campaigning on the nation's health issues. It was only right that we scatter her ashes on the steps… 5/ pic.twitter.com/sgqBGLDuZ2
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
My sister Amanda and I decided a bit of lunch was in order,so we went to @TheIvyWestSt, because they'd always loved it there. We raised a glass. At one point, I discovered there was a gap down the back of a banquette. It seemed only right they should stay there for ever. So…6/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
While the waiters weren't looking I decanted my parents' combined remains into the dining room of the Ivy. We had just one last stop. My parents loved the theatre and musicals in particular. I called up my dear fried @andynyman who was playing Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof… 7/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
to huge, award-nominated acclaim. My idea was that we'd give him a pot plant, scatter some ashes around it and then they'd be backstage for the run. We DID do that. But Andy (and his other half @sophbags; credit where it's due) had a better idea. It was an hour or so before…8/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
…the matinee. He took us up on stage @ThePlayhouseLDN to show us the magnificent set. He showed us Tevye's cart. He showed us Tevye's milk churns and how the lids came off. And when no one was looking we decanted my parents in to the churn 9/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
From April 2019 until the show finished its run a few weeks ago Claire and Des Rayner did 8 performances a week in Fiddler on the Roof. Here's a pic of me, Andy, Andy's beard, my sister Amanda and the churn 10/ pic.twitter.com/nGCTG76FgY
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
Occasionally Andy would text me to tell me whether they'd been any good in that day's matinee or evening performance. I've waited to tell this story, until the run had ended. I didn't want them turfed out of the production. We now like to think… 11/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
…the churn has gone into some enormous prop store and that my dear late parents will keep popping up in ropey amateur productions of The Sound of Music or Oklahoma. It's what they would have wanted. I think. Here endeth the thread 11/
— Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) December 3, 2019
What an extraordinary story. And here are just a few of the things people said in response.
This is brilliant, and exactly what I needed to read. Today should have been my brother’s 35th birthday, but he died 15 years ago, aged 20. I was feeling self pitying and cheated, then read this and am now a mad woman crying and laughing on a train. Here’s to your parents.
— Laura Kenworthy (@laurakenworthy) December 3, 2019
What a fantastic read and what amazing things to do. Your Mum was the first person on the planet to let a 12 year me know it was ok to be gay. I used to read her column. ❤️
— Jimmy Hunter 🏳️🌈🏴🇪🇺🕷 (@JimJamGin) December 3, 2019
I love this! When my stepmum was ill before she died, she said she wanted her ashes scattered at a national trust property they were wed in. She didn’t think they’d allow it, so she said we all had to put a bit of her a in trouser leg and release her as in The Great Escape. 🤣😆
— Laura Claire (@lozengecapsule) December 3, 2019
Absolutely magnificent.
Ken Clarke traipsing your dad into the Tate had me laughing out loud.May they both rest in peace
— Roy Gillett #GTTO (@woollyliberal) December 3, 2019
This should be made into a children's book! A gentle humorous way of dealing with the death of grandparents? Beautiful. I literally loved your mum Jay. I didn't have a great childhood and I listened to your mum aged 9+, she felt like my dream mum, she taught me so much♥️
— PurpleSwampHen (@PurpleSwamphen) December 3, 2019
Oh Jay I LOVE this. My parents were in an open-air Shakespeare company, she acting, he crew; she mixed half of him into white emulsion to make grey paint and he did a summer as Macbeth's castle. The (unknowing) cast praised the (unknowing) set-builders for the "excellent grip"!
— Hugh Smithson-Wright (@HRWright) December 3, 2019
This made my heart soar. Xx
— Dermot O'Leary (@radioleary) December 3, 2019
I scattered my father's ashes in parts of his native Cork in March. My car broke down in Glengarriff as we were about to cruise past a bar that used to be run by the celebrated 'Doc' Ryan. Dad would always stop for a pint. He was invited to lean on the bar for the last time. pic.twitter.com/MFA2wQKEoK
— Kevin Coughlan (@KevinFCoughlan) December 3, 2019
And you can follow Jay on Twitter here.
Source @jayrayner
