Simply 10 everyday things that (we think) definitely happen in Hell
If there is a hell (and we’re not actually already in it) then we think we’ve got a pretty good idea of the type of torture that goes on down there.
1. In hell, when you send someone a text message they reply by ringing you.
2. In hell, people constantly pop round to visit you unexpectedly on the off chance that you’ll be home.
3. In hell, whenever you sit down it’s in a chair at the hairdresser’s, looking at your own reflection after you’ve just had your hair washed.
4. In hell, when you speak you have to then listen back to the recording of your own voice.
5. In hell, when you’re watching a film, your parents walk into the room and sit down to watch it with you the second a sex scene starts.
6. In hell, you have to spend every Sunday morning at a soft play centre with a massive hangover.
7. In hell, you have to go shopping everyday in a supermarket that’s changed its layout with a child that’s having a tantrum and a trolley with wonky wheels.
8. In hell, every time you get on a train or a bus someone sits next to you even though there are loads of other free seats available.
9. In hell, every time a woman thinks a dress has pockets, the pockets are actually fake.
10. In hell, every sex dream you have features Boris Johnson and a packet of butterscotch Angel Delight.
