Twenty-five things that had us laughing out loud this week
There’s so much going on in the news that we wouldn’t blame anyone for switching it off and looking for something a little less dystopian. They need look no further than this list of twenty-five things that have made us laugh this week.
1.
If you read the bible in reverse, it’s about the world’s population killing each other until there’s only 2 people left, and then the woman pukes an apple and they both get naked.
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) October 18, 2019
2.
Wankers setting off the fireworks in October. The dog shit itself and knocked over the Christmas tree 😒
— Ashlea Jade 🤙🏽 (@AshleaaJade) October 22, 2019
3.
all I see is hummus https://t.co/0zJnA4oqS2
— Sophia Armen (@SophiaArmen) October 19, 2019
4.
Just misspelt Cosmopolitan as 'Sodmopolitan' and I think I might just have created the magazine for our times.
— Prof Sophie Scott (@sophiescott) October 24, 2019
5.
People accuse of me of sneaking references to metal working into my tweets. Well, der.
— David Quantick (@quantick) October 20, 2019
6.
You know you’re foreign when you read a recipe in the U.K. & multiply the garlic by at least four.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) October 21, 2019
7.
[Writing Day 1]
TOLKIEN: I will build a complex fantasy world with multiple species and hundreds of characters.[Writing Day 897]
TOLKIEN: There’s a tree with a beard I named him Treebeard.— PolterGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 23, 2019
8.
Just in from a #DowningStreetSource! They're bringing back Challenge Anneka but the challenge is always to just find enough edible roadkill to see Anneka through the week.
— Sooz Halloween Kempner (@SoozUK) October 23, 2019
9.
Just a reminder that there are real monsters out there. Murderers, thieves, people who actively choose to go running while on vacation, etc
— 🎃 Sassparilla S. Pumpkins 🎃 (@Megatronic13) October 23, 2019
10.
My daughter was ‘graded’ 7/10 and 14/10 in her homework (just to color some objects) last week and 2weeks ago so I wrote in her correspondence book that 14/10 was an error.
School replied “Tara’s Mum, those were dates. We do not grade toddlers.”
I am embarrassed for myself.
— Adenike Lanlehin (@omotomilola) October 23, 2019
11.
this is literally any commercial for yogurt that helps you shit https://t.co/fOysm2QQId
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) October 22, 2019
12.
Do i have to have seen Wrath of Kahn to understand the new Star War movie?
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) October 22, 2019