Your life in your 20s vs your life in your 40s – compared!

1.

In your 20’s

“Last night I drank a bottle of wine, 3 cocktails and 4 shots. This morning I have a small headache that will instantly be cured after a bacon sandwich and a can of full fat coke. I can’t wait to go out and drink the same amount again tonight.”

In your 40’s

“Last night I drank 2 glasses of wine and then had a pint of water before going to bed. I now feel like I’ve been kicked in the head by an angry donkey. I await the sweet release of death to stop the pain and torment of this nausea.”

Two days later…

“I’m starting to feel slightly better now.  I am now hopeful that this hangover will not be my cause of death though I do not feel completely out of the woods yet. I have updated my will, just in case”

2.

In your 20’s

“I just fell down an entire flight of stairs. However I am completely fine and will now go about my business as usual.”

In your 40’s

“3 weeks ago I slept with my head at a slightly different angle than usual. Ever since then I’ve had excruciating neck pain if I try and look to my left.

3.

In your 20’s

“It’s 8pm on a Friday night. I’ve just necked a load of cheap booze whilst getting ready to go out where I will drink even more copious amount of alcohol until the early hours of the morning.”

In your 40’s

“It’s 8pm on a Friday. I am already in my pyjamas. I am drinking a herbal fruit tea and debating if it’s too early to go to bed yet.”

4.

In your 20’s

“I only had 4 hours sleep last night because I went out for a quick drink after work and ended up going clubbing. Bit tired but I’ll have a cup of coffee and I’ll be wide awake and fighting fit.”

In your 40’s

“I only had 4 hours sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about the time I replied “You too” to a waiter when he said to me to enjoy my meal. My eyes feel like they’re full of broken glass and I’m so tired that I want to just collapse in a heap and sob. I think I am going to die of sleep deprivation”

5.

In your 20’s

“I can quite happily sit or lie on the floor for hours at a time with no ill-effects.”

In your 40’s

“If I bend over too quickly my knees crack and I can’t straighten up again without making an ‘Oooof’ noise.”

6.

In your 20’s

“I will happily go out for the night in winter with no coat as that’s easier than trying to find a place to put it all evening, plus it doesn’t really go with my outfit.”

In your 40’s

“I own at least 4 sensible cardigans. As soon it gets a bit chilly I do not set foot outside the house without a coat, hat, scarf and gloves. I do not care what I look like as long as I am warm.”

7.

In your 20’s

“Oooh, a party invitation. Damn. I’ve already got plans on that night. I wonder how I can manage to do both?”

In your 40’s

“Oooh, a party invitation. Damn. I wonder how I can get out of going?”