Our 25 favourite funny things from this week
With a deal on the table, it looks as though the UK may finally be able to stop talking about what kind of deal it might get, and start talking about how bad it is instead. In preparation for the probably gloom, let’s just take a few minutes to have a laugh at these gems from the past week.
If we ever get rid of the British monarchy, Buckingham palace would make a SICK Spoons
— Rowan Rebecca (@rowanrebecca) October 13, 2019
Another wooden ball. Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?
— Steven (with a ph) (@SJKSalisbury) October 11, 2019
Liverpool, give it a rest with The Beatles, yeah? You don't hear Wolverhampton banging on about Babylon Zoo.
— Phil Pagett (@Phil_Pagett) October 12, 2019
Heston's Waitrose 2019 Christmas range:
Hydraulic Pork Vertices
Potted Goitre in Monocle Jus
Unilateral Plum Seizures
Three Bard Roast with Veal Couplets®
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 12, 2019
I left it in a terrible state, because I’m a pessimist. pic.twitter.com/7TRWRGIEqq
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) October 12, 2019
Perfect snack for when your tea’s gone cold, you’re wondering why you got out of bed at all pic.twitter.com/0o7uD0lNoq
— Matthew Crosby (@matthewcrosby) October 12, 2019
I've just calculated my BMI and it's perfect, thank god. Just got to sort out my height now.
— Kooch (@koochykooh) October 16, 2019
Well, that's MY 2019 Christmas card design sorted. pic.twitter.com/mZep9fxsg4
— Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) October 16, 2019
— Craig Mac Ádaidh (@Craigadd) October 16, 2019
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes; now I have Heinzsight.
— Vickie Roark (@seven4liberty) October 14, 2019
So sick of the "Who wore it best?" feature in women's magazines. Stop pitting us against each other! If you didn't put it on backwards & your tit didn't pop out, you wore it just fine.
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) October 14, 2019
Did ducks put these up? pic.twitter.com/IQe8TTe6bw
— Juul e Laal (@antifatwa) October 16, 2019