Weird World

The story of a wedding guest with a swastika tattoo is not what you think

The subreddit ‘Am I The Asshole‘ does what it says on the tin – allowing users to vote on scenarios posted by people who want to know whether they’re an asshole or not. This poser, from Redditor panorama_bride was very different to the impression you might have got from its heading. It’s a long read, but the main points are in bold.

WIBTA if I told my friend she had to cover her swastika tattoo to come to my wedding?

Hear me out, I know this sounds fake.

My (23f) dad works a program in which he gives support (food, money, resources, etc) to people who have just come out of prison and need help. He has done this for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been helping since I was about 16. We meet a lot of different people from different walks of life, and the service also acts as a support group where we all talk. I met Anna (25f) when she was 22 and she’d just been released from prison for some drug charges. She was put in prison right after she turned 18. She told me that because she was so young, she was pushed around a lot in prison. She was basically forced into a prison tattoo of a swastika, because a group of women were threatening her life if she didn’t. I believe her story is true and have no reason to doubt her.

Anna has struggled since getting out of prison and simply does not have the money to cover the tattoo, nor does she know what she would cover it with. It is right on her chest, so is hard to hide. I know she is embarrassed about the tattoo and she hides it with sweaters and high neck shirts. I’ve seen her try to cover it with make up, but you can still see it.

She came to me when I announced my engagement and said it would probably be the only time she would have the tattoo visible, because it is a wedding in the summer (next year) and it will be too hot to hide. I didn’t really know what to say at the time. It’s going to be a large wedding. I can safely assume there will be some people offended by it (I mean, it makes me feel a bit sick but I try to look past it).

I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel more ashamed than she is, but I also (selfishly) don’t want this to be the focus of the wedding, or for any guests to be offended. I’m seriously considering making her a member of my bridal party simply so I can pick dresses that will cover it without singling her out. Anna is a really good person now and I don’t want to hurt her. My brother, when I told him, said that if she had a giant distracting birth mark, I wouldn’t expect her to cover it, so why would I expect her to with this. I feel awful and am genuinely conflicted. I don’t want to body shame her but also can’t have that at my wedding.

WIBTA, or is this reasonable?

There were some practical suggestions:

Although the overall verdict was “No Assholes Here”, which is probably the best possible outcome, someone felt the tattooed wedding guest might just be the asshole – slightly.

Wedding snowsuit it is, then.

Source: Reddit H/T: someecards Image: @fuuj and @seteales on Unsplash