This ‘official Paul Danan’ story about Uri Geller and Jodie Marsh is next level stuff
Erstwhile Celebrity Love Island bloke Paul Danan has his own Instagram account but it’s nowhere near as popular as this parody account.
And this latest tale published by ‘official Paul Danan’ is a very good example why.
Uri was a handy fella to have about, but his psychic powers didn’t always have the desired result. For every weak-minded bouncer he mesmerised, there was always an accident with a bent key. Every time you’d give him a bump he’d completely fuck it – I used to spend a fortune at Timpson’s.
Often putting his powers to use for mischief, I once spotted Uri at the 2000 NTAs standing up in his balcony seat rubbing his temples at the exact point when Judy Finnegan’s boobs famously fell out. When I asked him about it at the after party he gave me an enigmatic smile and said: ‘Oh, that was just a migraine’.
His powers made him a real hit with the treacles, on one occasion at the High Street Honey Awards he psychically convinced Lucy Pinder it was his birthday and invited her to chase him and then ‘tickle him senseless’ upon capture.
Jodie Marsh wasn’t having any of it though, her heightened psychic awareness made her totally impervious to his metaphysical powers. He called her ‘The Fortress’ and claimed that when he tried to tune in all he saw was an ‘Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier’ style apparition of a regal tiger guarding an ornate gate.
Frustrated, he’d turn to psychokinesis and to this day she still only wears bras with a plastic clasp.
#poppinbras #hypnotisingstars #PsycokineticsOfInstagram #pintofStella #cutlery #56pieceset #uripoppingbrasleftrightandcentrewhilstthatsongplaysfrommatildawhenshesmakingbreakfast
Here’s a whole load more entries from the spoof Danan account for your viewing pleasure.
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Follow parody Paul Danan now!
paul_danan_official – still the best thing about Instagram. pic.twitter.com/CfcKho5y1L
— bobby nuisance (@BobbyNuisance) September 20, 2019
Even better than the real thing.
Source HT: @BobbyNuisance