People are sharing the most stupid ways they’ve injured themselves and you’ll fall over laughing
It started when Eleanor Penny asked this on Twitter.
Your personal brand is the most stupid way in which you’ve accidentally injured yourself.
— Eleanor Penny (@eleanorkpenny) August 15, 2018
And the replies kept coming. And coming. And coming. Here are our favourites.
1.
Butterfly swimming race, girl in the next lane is my nemesis from enemy school. We’re neck and neck: I’m convinced there’s room for one last power stroke. I smash my nose into the end of the pool, blood blossoms as I touch for 1st, she shies away in horror and comes 4th. Worth it
— Ms D 🌈 (@msdwrites) August 15, 2018
2.
Looking at the moon too fast. Was in a brace for months. 😂
— 🎃 one-bed trope 👻 (@typicalfeminist) August 15, 2018
3.
I saw an uncovered manhole while walking to a pharmacy, then fell into the manhole while walking back from the pharmacy.
— Jason Livingston (@JasonJliv) August 16, 2018
4.
Put one oven glove on, opened oven with said gloved hand, reached into oven with other hand..
— Brian O’Keefe (@rider45) August 15, 2018
5.
I got confused and put ear drops, which are supposed to burn through goo, into my dry eyes. The doctor laughed out loud, which I totally did not think they were allowed to do.
— Joseph Menn (@josephmenn) August 16, 2018
6.
One time I applied deodorant too aggressively and punched myself in the eye with it https://t.co/5i17IMKYvt
— Noelle Stevenson (@Gingerhazing) September 17, 2019
7.
@jeremyscheuch My mom had just cut herself on a brand new Cutco knife while washing it. I said “dang it mom, you can’t wash it like that, you have to do it like THIS.” We went to urgent care in the same car.
— J.B. Bauersfeld (@JBBauersfeld) August 16, 2018
8.
Once, when I worked fast food, I dropped a penny and it landed on edge on the curb. I took it as a sign and tried to bob down to get it. Lost my balance and fell headfirst out the drive thru window.
— Loretta Ross (@lorettasueross) August 16, 2018
9.
I also jumped in the exact center of a folding bed and it slammed shut vertically, jailing me and my 8 your old brother firmly between its mattress and we both almost suffocated. Visuals of the bed-weapon and how we saved ourselves below: pic.twitter.com/ufqTDtlS4W
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) August 15, 2018
10.
Mine’s unbelievably stupid. I put my laptop on top of a high bathroom cupboard while listening to a podcast with headphones in & shaving. I moved, which pulled the laptop down off the shelf and onto my head. Laptop miraculously undamaged, though I had to clean blood off my webcam
— wilhelm freidrich kegel (@johnupdog) August 15, 2018
11.
At the hotel gym the treadmill started going too fast and I couldn’t control the settings or keep up. Fell face down and it shot me back into the wall somehow pulling my shorts down in the process. Ended up half naked with a bleeding face in a room full of people
— Jenny Byford (@JennyByford) August 15, 2018
12.
Punched myself in the face reading a book.
— Beyond Chocolate (@beyondchoc) August 15, 2018
13.
While pretending to be a vampire, slapped a chair and broke my hand.
— Carolyn VanEseltine (@mossdogmusic) August 15, 2018
14.
I’m the only person who ever lost at Shadow boxing – dislocated my shoulder, tko.
— SuperMark (@mark_brophy) August 15, 2018
15.
Thought a bus queue outside a book shop was a queue of people waiting for me to give a talk. Went along the line thanking them for coming.
— Kate Long (@volewriter) August 15, 2018
16.
Obviously the injury was psychological: does that count?
— Kate Long (@volewriter) August 15, 2018