David Baddiel started a brilliant thread about the real reasons people break up – 23 favourites
12.
He told me that I’d love him eventually. It was inevitable.
Eff that.
— Auntie Em (@EmofJohnson) September 13, 2019
13.
He went to KFC and on the way home he ate every bit of coating off the chicken from a 12 piece bucket.
Another used a metal masher on a le creuset pan. I mourned the loss of the pan far more than I did the loss of him
— Cath Dud (@Cathdud) September 13, 2019
14.
I broke up with a girl as she said she saw the end of The Usual Suspects coming, I also broke up with one as she said Racing in The Street by Springsteen was a dull song! Maybe I’m shallow but there are somethings you have to be firm on!
— paul cooke (@paulcooke6) September 13, 2019
15.
Made really overexaggerated wet mouth noises when he chewed. It was like listening to someone slowly pushing things into slime but on triple speed.
— Kia ora Carrie (@__Carrie___) September 13, 2019
16.
I once broke up with a guy because he came back from a ski trip with ski goggle tan lines
— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaNigrelli) September 13, 2019
17.
My daughter broke up with someone because he would only send messages using txt spk.
To be honest, I couldn’t fault her judgement.
— Liz Needham (@lizneedhamSTAR) September 14, 2019
18.
Split up with a boyfriend as he had slimmer hips than me and we looked ridiculous from behind
— Debbie Phillips (@DebbieP93334927) September 13, 2019
19.
I was referred to as “precious cargo” when going out on his motorcycle for the 1st time. We didn’t go……
— Georgie Luxford (@Georgieluxford1) September 13, 2019
20.
I broke up with a guy who didn’t know the difference between your and you’re, and there, their and they’re. It would never work.
It was years ago but I’d do it again!— Claire CKB (@claireg_dubai) September 14, 2019
21.
A friend of mine once decided against a second date with someone because his face was too short.
— Sonja T (@GreenRedSonja) September 13, 2019
22.
I caught sight of us in a shop mirror. I’m 5ft 0. He was 6’2 or something. We looked like a student version of Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood.
— Marie Donn (@Marie_Donn) September 13, 2019
23.
My boyfriend started helping himself to my chicken nuggets . Told him he takes one more that’s it. He did and I left him crying in his Big Mac (not a euphemism)
To be honest I was looking for an excuse
— (@OfSelina) September 13, 2019
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Simply 24 times David Baddiel took down the trolls, one hater at a time
