Our 25 favourite funny things from the last seven days
13.
fly me to the moon
let me kick it's fucking ass
let me show it what i learned
in my moon jujitsu class— rocket (@tweetsbyrocket) September 12, 2019
14.
Was going to tweet about Brexit but thankfully I went with this instead pic.twitter.com/P1DBiriVAX
— Ash Warner (@AlsBoy) September 12, 2019
15.
Hello darkness my old friend.
Darkness (2 days later): Sorry just saw this.
— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) September 10, 2019
16.
The phrase “treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline!
— Meriel (@MerielMyers) September 6, 2019
17.
What’s your favourite James Bond Theme? Mine is the sexism.
— George Rigden (@grigdencomedian) September 5, 2019
18.
j jonah jameson: i have a web question
peter parker: [nervously] why-why would I know anything about that
jj: ur generation knows about computers right
parker: [relieved] oh haha yeah chief what’s up
jj: why does google say ur spider-man
— Elvish Presley (@_elvishpresley_) September 12, 2019
19.
Because you showed interest in "Flat Earth" we think you might enjoy these theories:
Very Slim Venus
Prostrate Pluto
Mushed Mercury
Sat-on Saturn
My What a Tight Uranus— Bec Hill, Tooth Fairy (@bechillcomedian) September 12, 2019
20.
My Magic 8 ball said I would find the piece of paper I was looking for in this big pile of paper, and I didn’t. Time to revisit the concept of ‘filing’ I guess.
— Catherine Wilkins (@Catiewilkins) September 9, 2019
21.
Documentary “taxidermy was the TV of the Victorian era”
What did you do last night? Not much just looked at a dead heron for 2 hours— Sophie Gadd (@sophie_gadd) September 8, 2019
22.
our anti capitalist martyr pic.twitter.com/TcRC4IMnSB
— funky student 🌱🦀 (@natskashi) September 11, 2019
23.
Sorry I planted drugs in your bag and called the police, but there's only so many times you can keep asking to borrow my stapler without consequences, Sue.
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) September 11, 2019
24.
I am a terrible parent. I sold some books that my daughter no longer wanted, & the lady who bought them just sent me a scolding message to say there were inappropriate words scrawled in & it was a safeguarding issue, & honestly I can't stop giggling pic.twitter.com/kV1w3ewzoH
— ⚫ FIVE??!? (@rozknitroz) September 8, 2019
25.
“I’ve found how to make coleslaw!”
“Great stuff!”
“Yes, I know”— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) September 11, 2019
Source: Twitter, Image: Twitter, @joelstylis on Unsplash
