An argument about a fridge and a ham gave everyone chills
Comedian Will Hall altered his travel plans when an intriguing argument started up on the train. This is the substance of it.
The woman on the train next to me is having an argument with her boyfriend on loudspeaker about whether they need to buy a fridge for their new flat. She is Team Fridge, he insists he can “keep his ham in the garden”. Looks like I’m missing my stop today.
— Will Hall (@willhallcomedy) September 7, 2019
There’s a vaguely seventeenth-century vibe about keeping ham in the garden, and it raises questions, such as “What about foxes and cats?”, “Will it attract wasps?” and “What if there’s another heatwave?”
Some people were #TeamHam.
what if we've all been duped by Big Refrigeration all these years and ham is actually fine in the garden
this man's research is critical and must be protected at all costs
— Alex H Bell (@alexbell) September 7, 2019
Every self respecting ham-eater should know that the proper strorage of ham requires hanging in a cool and dry pantry with good ventillation #TeamHam
— Adél Pásztor (@apasztor) September 8, 2019
Putting bits of ham in the garden saves you time when planting bushes. Push a bit of ham deep into the soil and the foxes dig it up overnight. Then just plant your bush in the new hole the next day. Only use a whole ham for planting trees.
— Sim (@sim999) September 8, 2019
Others were clearly #TeamFridge.
Oof. I'd throw the whole boyfriend in the trash right along with the rotted, unrefrigerated food
— 🏳️🌈Worthless lib Yinzer💗💛💙🏳️🌈 (@sami_automatik) September 8, 2019
I have a downstairs flat with a garden…however as a fully functioning adult I have a fridge.. Obviously I keep my ham in the living room for guests to admire..but I have a fridge at least!
— Sir Septimus Pyecroft (@SirPyecroft) September 8, 2019
There was another very important question …
where THE FUCK do they keep their magnets?
— Nationwide (@NationwideBlog) September 8, 2019
And it seemed the debate might have wider implications for the English language.
I am making it my life’s mission to make “keeping your ham in the fridge” a legitimate figure of speech.
“I’m coming. Geez, keep yer ham in the fridge, will you?”
— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) September 8, 2019
But really, all anybody wanted to know was whether #TeamHam or #TeamFridge came out on top.
How did it end? We must be told! https://t.co/UFadYXqj4H
— U Know who you are (@uknowhoyour) September 9, 2019
Luckily, Will had the answer.
People asking for an update: it all came to a head when she said angrily “What about Viennetta?” and he paused and said “Fair point babe” and that was that. A win for love and artificial refrigeration.
— Will Hall (@willhallcomedy) September 8, 2019
That’s what you call “breaking out the big guns.”