The 25 funniest things we’ve seen this week
We would tell you what happened over the last week, but nobody knows what that was. We can say with absolute certainty that …erm, wait a minute …well …
Maybe you should just read these 25 funny things, some of which may jog your memory of the week’s events, whilst others help you forget again.
1.
Smavengers: Smage of pic.twitter.com/V99imJvGhs
— Phil Wang (@PhilNWang) August 31, 2019
2.
What idiot called it Mario Kart when they could have gone with Mario Speedwagon?
— Obi Wan Punobi (@ObiWanPunobi) August 31, 2019
3.
It’s so annoying when you can’t get signal on your grapes pic.twitter.com/bn7vJ8H4ha
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) September 2, 2019
4.
waiter: would you like a soup or salad?
clark kent: [laughs nervously] a super salad? i'll just have a regular salad please
waiter: alri-
clark kent: [loudly] a regular salad for a regular man
— online moose 🦌 (@tiemoose) September 1, 2019
5.
What I reckon I'm supposed to say:
Sorry but I dont remember voting for a Queen?! What happened to democracy?!What I actually believe:
Let's have all our nans fight and the winner shall be the queen— Gareth Waugh (@GarethWaugh) August 28, 2019
6.
there should be an olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like fuck it, let’s see how high humans can really jump
— Dave (@DaveApnea) September 1, 2019
7.
Welcome to my film lecture where I argue that Alien is essentially Carry On at Your Convenience in Space.
— John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) September 1, 2019
8.
The inventor of punchlines has died.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) September 1, 2019
9.
Contrary to popular belief, baby teeth are not the teeth you grow as a baby, but are in fact the offspring of your adult teeth.
— Bec Hill (Be Chill) (@bechillcomedian) September 2, 2019
10.
the price of my gym membership is just the fine I pay for never working out
— ErBear (@Rica_Bee) August 31, 2019
11.
Writer Hotline: How may I assist you?
Writer: I‘m trapped & being starved
WH: deadline & you ran out of snacks but the outside requires pants?
Writer: yes
WH: Have you tried repeatedly opening your fridge hoping new food appeared?
Writer: yes & nothing
WH: omg
Writer: omg
— Meredith Ireland (@MeredithIreland) September 2, 2019
12.
Upside to being an adult: no one can stop be from buying a 200 dollar dragon statue
Downside to being an adult: no one can stop me from buying a 200 dollar dragon statue
— 🌌Skye❄️Silverheart🌌 (@Skyehighstudios) September 2, 2019
