People are sharing customers’ most outrageous and downright weird behaviour in shops – 19 favourites
It started when @fairycakes shared some brilliant memories of what it’s really like to work at HMV.
11 years ago I worked in a HMV store and it still remains one of the most surreal employments I’ve ever had. Here are some of the highlights:
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
As well as going wildly viral, her stories prompted people to share some all-time classic retail moments of their own. Here are 19 favourites that are very funny, often terrifying, and occasionally both.
1.
As a teenager I worked in a Woolworths cafe for a couple of years. My ‘fondest’ memory is a guy coming in & wanting beer with his fry up. He kicked off when I told him we couldn’t serve him beer (we didn’t sell it!) – punched out the duty manager, then took a shit on the counter
— PaulKR (@Paul_K_R) August 30, 2019
2.
We used to get calls ALL the time asking when XXX was ‘being released’ only to realise, after much checking of the ‘new release’ lists, they thought they’d rung the local prison. Turns out directory enquires could hear the difference between “HMV Preston” and “HMP Preston”.
— JanettoCornetto (@janettocornetto) August 30, 2019
3.
These are gold but if you wanna see the dark side of retail I challenge anyone to go work in a SPAR or LONDIS. Then you’ll see some serious shit.
— DADGEEK (@dadgeekuk) August 30, 2019
When I started, my new boss showed me the panic button. He then informed me it didn’t work because it was too expensive to get it connected.
— DADGEEK (@dadgeekuk) August 30, 2019
When I asked what I was supposed to do in case of trouble he showed me a baseball bat.
His instructions were “Make sure you pop em hard in the face. Don’t swing it or you’ll kill ’em”.
— DADGEEK (@dadgeekuk) August 30, 2019
There was also a time when a drunken marital dispute spilled over into the shop. The woman was covered in blue paint, thrown by her husband.
She bought two scratchcards and left.
— DADGEEK (@dadgeekuk) August 30, 2019
Another time a pair of teenagers tried to steal sweets but were terrible at it. One of them tried to walk out of the shop with Blackjacks literally pissing out the bottom of his trouser legs.
His mate had hidden an entire, still wrapped, Fry’s Turkish Delight inside his mouth.
— DADGEEK (@dadgeekuk) August 30, 2019
4.
I knew a girl who worked in Jessops and a regular train spotter used to have his photos printed. All the shots were of trains, except the last frame, in each roll which was always a photo of his knob. This went on for years.
— FutureFilm (@futurefilm1) August 30, 2019
5.
I worked in Virgin Megastores for 2 years and can relate to every single story. We had a man come in claiming to be David Bowie’s brother who wanted Lost Boxsets for free. A woman fake a heart attack when we were closing at 6 on X Mas Eve then tried to buy a wii game
— Nick (@ColossusNick) August 30, 2019
6.
I still work for hmv now. My favourite ever request was an old lady asking my if we had any ‘Plastic Dominoes’. After about 10 minutes intensive detective work it turned out she wanted the new ‘Placido Domingo’ album.
— simon finbow (@simonfinbow) August 30, 2019
7.
Tower Records Glasgow, someone shat in a carrier bag and left it in the staff area. I’m guessing it was a colleague. Also, someone once asked for the “negro” section, she meant the reggae section.
— John Doh (@lidlmix) August 30, 2019
8.
I too worked in HMV so I recognise your plight, but my time in WHSmith beat it for me! An old lady punched my manager in the face because the Candle In The Wind single for Diana was sold out.
— James Beckley (@mrjimbecks) August 30, 2019
9.
Glasgow Argyle St store. A man comes in and asks where our carpets are.
“Sorry. We don’t sell carpets.”
“Naw mate. You definitely do. Are they no upstairs?”
“We don’t have an upstairs.”
Man gets fed up and goes to ask another more helpful staff member. Good luck with that.
— Paul McLauchlan (@astro_pol) August 30, 2019
