Simply 37 times God won at Twitter
Never let it be said that the Almighty doesn’t move with the times. God’s on Twitter and very popular it is too, with more than 6 million followers at the last count.
With Donald Trump appearing to call himself the ‘chosen one’, what better time to enjoy 37 of the omniscient’s finest moments on Twitter.
1.
Only one religion is right but I won't say which one because I want you to figure it out by hating and killing each other while I watch.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 23, 2019
2.
I have lost control of the situation.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 17, 2019
3.
I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 11, 2019
4.
THE FIVE STAGES OF CLIMATE CHANGE
1. Denial
2. Guilt
3. Depression
4. Acceptance
5. Drowning— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 19, 2019
5.
Standing up for what you believe in isn't a virtue if what you believe in is awful.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 8, 2019
6.
No matter what you think of Donald Trump, you have to admit: he's a piece of shit.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 17, 2018
7.
At those darkest moments when it feels like I've abandoned you, remember: I was never with you to begin with.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 13, 2019
8.
Try not to take yourself too seriously. After all, you're an idiot.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 23, 2019
9.
The next time I create mankind I'll conduct an environmental impact study first.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 23, 2019
10.
Most people who doubt women's claims of assault do NOT doubt a 2,000-year-old book's claims that I had a son who rose from the dead.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 9, 2018
11.
You should not vaccinate your children unless you are absolutely sure you want them to live.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2019
12.
Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? Because I assume you've thought that through.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 11, 2019
13.
The fact that so many of you take the word “Amazon” to mean “place to buy stuff” rather than “dying cradle of life on Earth” tells Me that your species as a whole is not worth saving.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) 21 August 2019
14.
Next time no people.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 15, 2019
15.
Admission to heaven is 90% determined by spelling and grammar.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 7, 2018
16.
There is life in outer space, and it's intelligent, and that's why it's staying far away from you.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 2, 2019
17.
The answer to the question "Can people really be that stupid?" is always yes.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 28, 2019
18.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 10, 2019
