Our 25 favourite funny things from this week
13.
that’s mummy’s special ‘tickle stick’ darling, now go wash your hands… pic.twitter.com/mp8Sy1KZBe
— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) August 14, 2019
14.
My local fishmongers has this outside the shop to get us to, I suppose, buy more fish? Does anyone know what type of fish it is so I can ask for it when I go in and don’t look foolish? pic.twitter.com/5zDE6NFe2Z
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) August 15, 2019
15.
[simba and nala sit atop pride rock staring at a beautiful sunset]
simba: *pulls engagement ring from his hip pocket* circle of wife amirite!
nala:
simba:
nala: where’d you get a hip pocket?
— TuSoon Shakur (@TuSoonShakur) August 15, 2019
16.
WIFE: please stop telling people you bought me on eBay. It's not funny
[later]
THEM: so how did you two meet?
ME: I did NOT buy her on eBay— Pessimus Prime (@BigJDubz) March 13, 2019
17.
Settled on a name for my bafflingly aggressive butter substitute: Fool If You Think It’s Clover.
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) August 11, 2019
18.
Experts suggest Jeremy Corbyn would be an excellent caretaker, as he dresses like one and has a track record of sweeping things under the carpet.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 15, 2019
19.
me cheap as hell grabbing a pen and paper: do it again but slower
veterinarian explaining my cat’s operation: why?— brent (@murrman5) August 15, 2019
20.
In retrospect I think it’s time to question Billy Joel’s claim that his generation didn’t start the fire
— Paul Haine (@paul_haine) August 15, 2019
21.
No headline has ever summed up men as well as this one pic.twitter.com/60f9gl0eoT
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 15, 2019
22.
This gourmet soap thing is getting out of hand. pic.twitter.com/SprAXXbkz1
— Arena Flowers (@ArenaFlowers) August 15, 2019
23.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) August 16, 2019
24.
Some woman honked and shot me the bird in the McDonald’s drive thru because I was taking too long to order. So I paid for her food….
Then when I got to the food window I showed them both receipts and took her food.
I paid for it. It’s mine.
Not today, Satan.
— Harry Scrotum (@goose2448) August 11, 2019
25.
Space could be filled with vampires, but we would never know, because telescopes use mirrors.
— Mortis (@WitchyDruss) August 15, 2019