Our 25 favourite funny things from this week
What a week! We were plunged into conspiracy-theory country, with the mysterious death of convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, friend of the rich and powerful; Jeremy Corbyn proposed leading a GNU, which was no less weird when we realised it was a government of national unity, and not a large ungulate, and Simon Cowell sent his waxwork to a photo-op in his place. Over on Twitter, this funny lot were making us laugh, and we think they’ll do the same for you.
Disappointed to find, when I opened this pack, it contained 3 very tiny noodles. pic.twitter.com/39UD8YpcT1
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) August 13, 2019
Did you know that Les Miserables isn't actually a musical? It's a play about French people who sing all the time.
— Matt Lucas (@RealMattLucas) August 14, 2019
One of Rodin’s lesser-known works, “Fuck! I’ve stood on some Lego!” Circa 1889. pic.twitter.com/PvUKJxFKCF
— Shaun Keaveny (@shaunwkeaveny) August 10, 2019
COLLEAGUE: Do I hear the pitter patter of tiny feet?
ME: That's right. I tied a badger to your desk
— mo (@chuuew) August 15, 2019
“Hello, I’m here to see Mr Epstein. I’m his daughter Agnes” pic.twitter.com/prE3mRfqU0
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 10, 2019
'Why doesn't Siobhan not sound like it's spelt? Why are Irish names so weird' – says Geoff from Worcestershire
— Dave Keenan (@PunLovinLad) August 11, 2019
My favourite new FB group that I’ve joined is the local crime area page for the place I grew up and it’s just full of women called Susan going “just seen a suspicious looking person near Tesco Express” and women called Karen going “ring the police just to be safe x”
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) August 12, 2019
Britain: just a load of stressed, tired people pretending to hope their emails find each other well
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 12, 2019
RACCOON: I haven't been feeling so good lately
DOCTOR: We'll let's see. Have you been staying up all night?
DOCTOR: What have you been eating?
DOCTOR: Well you're doing all the right things
— Michael 🏳️🌈 (@Home_Halfway) August 10, 2019
How to tell you're an adult:
• you gain 30lbs overnight
• you'd rather sleep than go out
• everything hurts
• comfort comes before style
• you have a favorite spatula
• everything feels like a chore
• college students look like 12yr olds
• you're always annoyed af
— Cats Against Humanity (@CatsVsHumanity) August 12, 2019
Why is my dog also a therapist who is disappointed that you continue using humor to deflect as a means to avoid resolving conflict. pic.twitter.com/Q0jbWLBeCq
— rachel (@madamradams) August 15, 2019
Waiter: *offering tray* Savoury snack?
Me: Very snack.
— Pablo Egglescobar (@pauleggleston) August 14, 2019