We asked for your ‘old jokes, new jokes, bad jokes and dad jokes’ and you didn’t disappoint – 28 favourites
It was National Tell A Joke Day on Friday and with the state this country is in at the moment we could all do with a laugh, so we asked people on Twitter to share their favourite jokes with us.
— The Poke (@ThePoke) August 16, 2019
Some made us laugh, some made us groan, but here are some of our favourites.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
The entire cast of The Only Way Is Essex.
— Jason (@NickMotown) August 16, 2019
I went to the doctor last week because I thought I’d broken every bone in my body.
I pressed my leg: Ouch!
I pressed my arm: Ouch!
I pressed my ankle: Ouch!
I pressed my back: Ouch!
I pressed my wrist: Ouch!
— rab livingstone (@rablivingstone) August 16, 2019
Who’s the coolest man in the hospital?
The Ultrasound Guy.
Who fills in for him while he’s on holiday?
The Hip Replacement Guy.
— Blue6oy (@blue6oy) August 16, 2019
What’s red and invisible?
No tomatoes #TellThePokeAJoke
— Ken Gray (@kengray1967) August 16, 2019
What’s a wok?
It’s what you kill a Wabbit with when you haven’t got a Wifle.
— Bill Stickers (@robbarf7) August 16, 2019
Where are On/Off switches manufactured?
— Rob (@_Bankrobber_) August 16, 2019
I’ve just got a Rescue dog, which is great except when he gets called out in the middle of the night. #NationalTellAJokeDay
— Tony Cowards #EdFringe (@TonyCowards) August 16, 2019
— Anyone found a real Brexit benefit yet? (@Davrobin) August 16, 2019
No you’re a poo
— Simon D (@sdannell10) August 16, 2019
What has four wheels and flies?
A bin lorry#TellThePokeAJoke
— Suzanne McCMarmite (@SuzMcC72) August 16, 2019
What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad
— Thom James (@ThomJames) August 16, 2019
When I was young we were so poor we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat…….
I would often skip lunch.
— Tony H (@Sabrewulfe) August 16, 2019
Why did the biscuit cry? Cus his mom had been a wafer so long 😂
— jayne with a y 👑 (@chunksnanna) August 16, 2019
What do you do if you see a space man?
Park in it, man.
— David (@NotFakeDave) August 16, 2019