Simply 25 of the funniest things we’ve seen this week
Already hearing cries of “JOHNSON SACK HUNT”.
At least I think that’s what they’re saying.
— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) July 23, 2019
Must be weird for the Queen, having known Churchill and now having to deal with Johnson’s Churchill fetish. Like being the last surviving cast member of the original Star Trek crew having to appear in a cosplay production made in a shed with a 57 year old IT guy playing Spock.
— . (@twlldun) July 24, 2019
Johnson became PM with 92,000 votes. Boaty McBoatface got 124,000 votes & was overruled for being plainly a bloody stupid fucking decision. Just saying.
— Lucy Wainwright (@Whoozley) July 24, 2019
Me: can I get a 10 piece mcnugget
Cashier: they come in 4, 6, or 20
Me: ok can I get 4 and
Cashier: let me guess-
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 24, 2019
I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death pic.twitter.com/DbuYKsjESD
— Paul (@bingowings14) July 19, 2019
The fact that the American leader's name means fart in British slang, while our new British leader's name means Penis in American slang is for me conclusive proof that the simulation we are living in has been taken over by a teenage boy.
— David Balfe (@Dave_Balfe) July 24, 2019
We’re storming Area 51, Boris is prime minister, it’s 31 degrees at 7.30pm and seagulls are robbing dogs out of people’s gardens I think it’s definitely the end of the world
— Irene Edith McEyebrow (@Behave__Irene) July 23, 2019
I miss the days when a culture war meant you had to choose between Blur and Oasis.
— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) July 23, 2019
PETER PAN: we meet again, Captain Hook
CAPTAIN HOOK: well well well– wait u guys call me Hook?
PETER PAN: yeah
CAPTAIN HOOK: because of the hand?
PETER PAN: …i'm sorr-
CAPTAIN HOOK: wow ok hey my dads dead too why not call me captain dead dad
— average joe (@jazz_inmypants) July 25, 2019
Considering sticking an ice lolly under each boob to keep cool. Not sure the people in this newsagent would understand though.
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) July 25, 2019
why they look like they about to drop the biggest album of 2019? pic.twitter.com/CMae5LNjQm
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) July 20, 2019
Sysadmins: "It's secure because it's in a container"
— Sylvia van Os (@SylvieLorxu) July 20, 2019
— Mr. Meowgi (@Mr_Meowwwgi) July 25, 2019