This forensic analysis of Brexit Milkshake Man is the funniest episode of CSI: Twitter
He moved on to the substance itself.
When you zoom in more, something more ominous appears. Not only the thickness of the ‘milkshake’ that seems odd, there’s pieces of fruit in this ‘milkshake’. After tireless hours of looking, these are lumps of cherry. pic.twitter.com/Tgl3aZKrMN
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
I’ve had plenty of smoothies with bits of fruit in, but never a milkshake. So why is there lumps of cherry over this gentlemen? BECAUSE MY FRIENDS, THIS IS NO MILKSHAKE THAT HAS LANDED ON THE GENTLEMAN.
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
ITS GODDAM CHERRY YOGHURT. pic.twitter.com/9hV7tgYX7Q
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
If the lumps of cherry haven’t convinced you, the colour match is damning. pic.twitter.com/YyEIxKRiQR
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
He cited further circumstantial evidence to support his cherry yoghurt theory.
As shown in most of the photos, the gentleman is holding a partially eaten sandwich. This shows he was eating lunch around the time of the ‘attack’, interesting. pic.twitter.com/UWSt6Ycjmf
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
I’m not one to judge, but he seems the type of fella who prepares a hearty packed lunch. One consisting of a sandwich, and I don’t know? A CHERRY YOGHURT?
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
Which brought him back to the splatter, and an intriguing alternative scenario for the resulting mess.
Going back to the splatter not going far as in the previous milkshake throwings, it’s exactly where yoghurt would go if you spilt a pot over yourself sat at a table due to a rogue spoon movement. (From many previous experiences) pic.twitter.com/7lGxjL7qLU
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
He came to a conclusion …
Due to the undeniable evidence laid out to me, this is no milkshake throwing. This is a case of the bloke twatting over a whole pot of yoghurt over himself and making the best out of it. If you’re going to do a lactose false flag though, use the right dairy product.
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
A very convincing conclusion.
Now look at this image, look at it like you’re looking at an older gentleman who’s spilt yoghurt over himself. Looks a lot more accurate than a crazed milkshake attack. pic.twitter.com/tKOD1oVanL
— Harvey (@harveyschmacker) May 23, 2019
Whether Cherry Yoghurt Accident Man Brexit Party Milkshake Man was telling the truth, we may never know, but as the legendary Nooruddean commented,
This thread is better than Oliver Stone’s JFK https://t.co/XHLlcBoKXY
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 23, 2019
And who are we to argue.
Source: Harvey
