“What’s the best bullsh*t you’ve heard someone come out with?” 14 superb lies

Call it “Blarney”, call it “the gift of the gab”, call it “a silver tongue”, but the bottom line is that bullshit is bullshit and we’ve all experienced it. Comedian Maisie Adam wanted to hear about those experiences.

TWITTER! What’s the best bullshit you’ve heard someone come out with?

I went to school with a lad who claimed his dad invented the phrase “No way José” and that they were still living off the royalties.

— Maisie Adam (@MaisieAdam) May 21, 2019

There were some brilliant answers, so steeped in the stuff that we can smell it from here.

1.

Someone persuaded me that Mr T was so called because he'd holidayed in the West Country during his early career and won the "Mr Trowbridge" contest. I believed that well into my thirties. https://t.co/OxaAivTCYe

— William Ham Bevan (@HamBevan) May 22, 2019

2.

A lad in my school explained that the reason he was big was due to the fact he was born without lungs, so as a baby they had to transplant him some lungs. However the only ones available used to belong to Hulk Hogan. I had no reason to disbelieve this at the time.

— Woolich (@w00lich) May 22, 2019

3.

I had a 1960s Mustang, and there was a lever on the floor that set off the wipers. I convinced a friend they were voice activated, secretly tapping the lever every time she said, "GO!" https://t.co/9bM3GaeNAu

— Scotchy McSinglemalt (@poguemahonebrew) May 22, 2019

4.

A guy I went to school with told me he was on a bus when he saw Wesley Snipes outside. He climbed out the bus window to meet him & made a video together. His brother was so jealous of the video that he threw it in the bin. So I guess there’s no way of knowing if it’s true or not.

— The Great Gregsondio (@JFGinDigital3D) May 21, 2019

5.

When I was younger, my Grandad told me that our whole family are banned from Cyprus because he shot a sacred donkey there when he was in the army. Didn’t book to go to Ayia Napa with my pals just in case

— Rebecca Alice Smith (@BecAlSmith) May 21, 2019

6.

My wife once spent 10 minutes trying to convince me that Dogs didn’t have knees

— Andrew Bailie (@AndyBailieArt) May 21, 2019

7.

My 5 year old daughter claimed she made up Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now" when I heard her singing it and asked where she'd heard it. https://t.co/Jf1VDBF1GO

— Joe Scaramanga (@ScaramangaJoe) May 22, 2019