This machine was invented to help shy men give sperm – the only 11 responses you need
It’s not only Brexit that’s putting satirists out of business, it turns out. It’s also machines like this, invented, by all accounts, to help shy men give sperm.
But don’t take our word for it, feast your eyes on this.
A Chinese company says its automatic sperm extractor is helping clinics collect semen from donors reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting. pic.twitter.com/zBqf4wWVQi
— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019
Oh my goodness.
Wow!!! 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/X5fOxOeA83
— AngryMan (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019
Seriously?
Lined up, ready for donors. pic.twitter.com/CqQmNI1vWX
— AngryMan (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019
And these really are the only 11 replies you need.
1.
1950s: I hope we get flying cars
2019: you can fuck a bin https://t.co/fhjhna7Lup— Chris Boyd 🇬🇧🇵🇭 (@paperghost) April 9, 2019
2.
If you build it, they will come.
— Voysov Reason 🌎 (@VoysovReason) April 9, 2019
3.
"I am reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting, it would be embarrassing"
"Perhaps sir would be more comfortable fucking this Dalek?"
[Already unzipping]
"Now we're talking" https://t.co/dVojHsOf1M— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 9, 2019
4.
“Sir. SIR! That’s an ATM!!”
— 20GroveCres (@20Grove) April 9, 2019
5.
"I can't I'm just too shy"
"Would you feel more comfortable using the FUCKBIN™"
"Yes" https://t.co/mYh5hDqVFc— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) April 9, 2019
6.
I’d like to see the Venn diagram that shows the donors who are “reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting” – but willing to stick their dicks into that hungry machine.
— Brian Malow (@sciencecomedian) April 9, 2019
7.
“I’m a little nervous”
“No worries, just step over to the Ejaculatron 3000”
“Oh yes, that’s much less awkward, thanks!”
😆 https://t.co/b3npEOn3V2— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) April 9, 2019
8.
— Johan Javier (@Johan22) April 9, 2019
9.
Well, there goes my job at the dick sucking factory https://t.co/PslRVj0DqG
— Solidus Red (@ABetterRed) April 9, 2019
10.
— Mitty (@Bigmitty_) April 5, 2019
11.
EXSPERMINATE! EXSPERMINATE! https://t.co/MmuAJWqCp4
— Eddie Bowley (@Eddache_) April 9, 2019