The 25 best jokes of the week
13.
https://twitter.com/JoelKrass/status/1105573368009449473
14.
sad news. the inventor of daylight savings died an hour from now.
— kim beans (@KimmyMonte) March 10, 2019
15.
how many animals do you suppose humans sat on before figuring out horses could handle it
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) March 14, 2019
16.
Remember when we all thought the answer to all stress was colouring in?
— Sarah Millican (@SarahMillican75) March 13, 2019
17.
Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
— Hyde of this site (@screaminbutcalm) March 12, 2019
18.
Me: The door's locked
Salt: Push it
Me: It's locked
Pepa: Push it
Me: That won't work, think of something else
Salt:
Pepa:
Salt:
Pepa:
Both: Push it real good?
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) March 12, 2019
19.
The BBC must be getting desperate now for new shows. It’s a no from me. pic.twitter.com/UouNZ9JNwN
— Paul (@bingowings14) March 10, 2019
20.
SAMUEL L. JACKSON AS A POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: does he look like a bitch
— Jill la Jill (@JillianKarger) March 14, 2019
21.
Theresa May has made such a pig's ear of Brexit, I'm surprised David Cameron hasn't tried to fuck it.
— Chris Brosnahan (@ChrisBrosnahan) March 12, 2019
22.
me: I'm going to build a time machine
him: *eating the last donut* what you gonna use it for
me: *eating the last donut* righting wrongs
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) March 13, 2019
23.
GUY: I think I’m done eating
ME: did you need a to-go box?
DEATH ROW EXECUTIONER: again, stop asking them that
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) March 14, 2019
24.
[Me as a food critic] yes hello, I only taste 784 islands in this dressing. What kind of scam are you running here
— Tinker Elle (@elle91) March 12, 2019
25.
Look who the new sponsor of The Bachelor UK is pic.twitter.com/JyamEYrChN
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) March 11, 2019
