This ‘ball and the box’ analogy of grief went viral because it struck a chord with so many people
A woman called Lauren Herschel shared this ‘ball and the box’ analogy for grief that was once given to her by her doctor after she was out shopping and spotted someone who reminded her of her grandma.
And the number of people who liked it and shared it suggests it wasn’t just Lauren who found it useful.
After what has been a surprisingly okayish Christmas, I had a moment today in SuperStore. Saw a lady who reminded me of my 92yo grandma, who even in the early stages of dementia, completely understood that my mom died.
I thought I’d share the Ball in the Box analogy my Dr told me pic.twitter.com/YfFT26ffU8— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) December 29, 2017
So grief is like this:
There’s a box with a ball in it. And a pain button.
And no, I am not known for my art skills. pic.twitter.com/XDwCCdXVkc— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 29 December 2017
In the beginning, the ball is huge. You can’t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the button over and over. You can’t control it – it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting. pic.twitter.com/Wcas2p4vab
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 29 December 2017
Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. It’s better because you can function day to day more easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it. pic.twitter.com/fevAttojBg
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 29 December 2017
For most people, the ball never really goes away. It might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant.
I thought this was the best description of grief I’ve heard in a long time.— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 29 December 2017
I told my step dad about the ball in the box (with even worse pictures). He now uses it to talk about how he’s feeling.
“The Ball was really big today. It wouldn’t lay off the button. I hope it gets smaller soon.”Slowly it is.
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 29 December 2017
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
I want you to know that this is literally one of the best things I have ever read on Twitter… #theballgetssmaller ♥️♥️♥️
— Lauryn Norton (@laurynnorton) 19 January 2018
I’m glad you liked it! It’s awesome so many people are finding it useful and accurate
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 19 January 2018
Thanks Lauren! I lost both parents within 9 days. I’ve got two balls in my box. This analogy helps! pic.twitter.com/DxZMO7bx58
— Jeff Davenport (@jeffdavenport) 24 March 2018
That must have been tough. I lost my dad 22 years ago & that ball had gotten a lot smaller – but when my mom was dying last fall, I was surprised how much that seemed to re-activate the “Dad” ball, while I was pre-grieving & then grieving her. So I understand the two ball notion
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 24 March 2018
Thanks 4 sharing the BALL IN THE BOX analogy. My daughter died in July and we are adjusting to life without her. I know that people process grief differently & now I have a new analogy to share with my family. Currently we have different-sized balls and that’s just the way it is.
— Cathy Campbell (@ccampbel14) 31 December 2017
I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. My mom passed away in November and my family also has different sized balls going on. My doctor shared this analogy with me and I knew it would resonate with others as much as it did with me. I wish you and your family healing in 2018
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 31 December 2017
A wise lady once told me that the pain you feel when you lose someone important is there to remind us how important they were, and to remind us to think about those people we still have who are important, and we should maybe let them know they’re important to us
— AL 🇨🇦 (@AlertCalgarian) 12 January 2018
That’s a really beautiful way of looking at things 🙂
— Lauren Herschel (@LaurenHerschel) 12 January 2018
This is a wonderful analogy, and would work for all kinds of grief and recovering from trauma too. Thank you for sharing it.
— Deirdre Marie-Iha (@MarieIha) 11 January 2018
To conclude …
This is really helpful for those of us grieving. https://t.co/GTWiiVVU4J
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) February 21, 2019
I want you to know that this is literally one of the best things I have ever read on Twitter… #theballgetssmaller ♥️♥️♥️
— Lauryn Norton (@laurynnorton) 19 January 2018
And this.
Please thank your doctor for us, for sharing this. (And thank *you* for sharing)
— Barb. just Barb (@spicedrum) 12 January 2018
