Comedian Sir Michael has some great tips – and he’s not being sponsored to share them
Over on the Twitter, we’re happy to say that a good man is trying to share his wonderful insight with the rest of us, and he does it for nothing more than the pleasure it brings him to make our lives easier. That good man is, of course, Sir Michael – or @Michael1979 – and, although he’s also well known for his fine work making sure his fellow churchgoers tow the line –
GREAT day at church! Noticed a young woman with an "I ❤️ Jesus" tattoo on her bare arm, who was shivering due to the cold. I had 2 coats though so I walked over & did the decent thing – told her the bible forbids tattoos and asked her to leave. Another step towards heaven for me!
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) November 18, 2018
and his often thwarted attempts to make his mark –
Received some very disappointing news today pic.twitter.com/NXcBSr0DYi
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) January 18, 2019
we thought we’d collect some of his amazing top tips.
1.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys ever need to cross a large body of water without getting wet, check out “bridges”.
Look for your nearest bridge today! It's a great alternative to being catapulted over the water and hoping for a soft landing
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) February 21, 2019
2.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if you're like me and enjoy wearing jean-shorts but dislike the feeling of cold on your lower legs, check out "jeans". They're like jean-shorts but longer.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) April 7, 2018
3.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys notice that you feel a little colder when you go outside now than you did during the summer, check out "coats". They're kinda like tops but thicker.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) October 26, 2018
4.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys enjoy the night-time but wish it wasn't so dark, check out "daytime". You have to get up a little earlier but the extra brightness is pretty useful
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) May 17, 2018
5.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys enjoy eating bread but would prefer it to be hotter and crunchier, check out "toasters".
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) March 30, 2018
6.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys want to put your stuff near a wall in your house but not at the ground level of that wall, you should check out "shelves". I've been using "shelves" for days now and they are really working well for me
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) February 27, 2018
7.
Am not being sponsored to say this but if any of you guys are tired of standing around after a shower, waiting for your body to dry before you get dressed, check out "towels". I started using towels recently and they have been a real time-saver for me
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) May 14, 2018