Simply 27 sizzling-hot takes on Valentine’s Day
15.
https://twitter.com/SarahBrat10/status/1095062173368401921
16.
SINGLE: Hope to get a card from a secret admirer
DATING: Arranges romantic date, buys sexy lingerie
7 YEAR ITCH: Consider shaving intimate area but end up just having a freshen up with a wet wipe
MARRIED: Leave OH Post-it note saying ‘EMPTY THE BIN YOU LAZY KNOB’ #ValentinesDay— Pearly (@londonlass666) February 12, 2019
17.
Mr York’s just said “you know I haven’t got anything for you tomorrow” and I’ve just replied “haha you big tease” and now we’re just staring at each other.
— Cromerty York – Voiceover With Own Studio & Cake (@Cromerty) February 13, 2019
18.
This year for valentine’s day, don’t give her a card. Just stick a human skeleton in her bed with a note that says, “I’d bone you” on it. After all, nothing livens up a relationship quite like waking up to find human remains and a well used pun in your bed.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) February 13, 2019
19.
https://twitter.com/paidjohn/status/1093271846307446784
20.
Roses are red
Cats are courageous
It’s increasingly obvious that
Brexit is fiscally disadvantageous…#ValentinesDay— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 14, 2019
21.
Roses are yellow
Violets are yellow
Bluebells are yellow
I am Chris Martin#ValentinesDay— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) February 14, 2019
22.
Ideal. #ValentinesDay pic.twitter.com/oVXsfb0OJn
— E O Higgins (@eohiggins) February 13, 2019
23.
https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/1095989378005037057
24.
Love is about making sacrifices. Happy #ValentinesDay #Valentines pic.twitter.com/spYSwb73v5
— Scarfolk Council (@Scarfolk) February 14, 2019
25.
Being alone on Valentine's Day isn't that bad, like Forrest Gump always said "life is like a box of chocolates, you're single because you're a whore."
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) February 11, 2019
26.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Get that wrong again
And you're finished in floristry, Carol.— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) February 14, 2019
27.
I used to believe in Valentine's Day, then I realised it was just my dad sneaking into my room, dressed as Saint Valentine of Flaminia.
— Neil (@_Enanem_) February 14, 2019
If you are feeling a bit miserable because you didn’t get a card, here’s an excellent suggestion from author TechnicallyRon.
Valentines day but instead of worrying about getting a date or buying someone else presents you just look after yourself and treat yourself to a nice coffee or something because you're awesome and this day is fucking nonsense.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 14, 2019
