The Daily Mail’s telling women how their homes are repelling men – our favourite takedowns
This is the best thing we’ve read in the Daily Mail for a long time. Just not necessarily in the way they intended, as highlighted by @lilyalicelouise on Twitter.
sorry @MailOnline is this article a joke because I am HOWLING pic.twitter.com/2PEgvEMSQA
— Lily ✨ (@lilyalicelouise) February 11, 2019
Just in case that’s tricky to read – you can see the full article here – here are a few edited highlights.
Books: Go easy on the gloomy titles
Multiple pictures of single women: Suggest you’re happier alone
Buddha: A sign of poverty and isolation
Clutter: Can damage your relationships by increasing irritability
Cactus: Unwelcoming!
Vase: Another image of a single woman
So much to enjoy, we don’t know where to start. So let’s leave it to these people instead, our 27 favourite responses.
1.
I’d be more worried if they had a copy of the Daily Mail.
— James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) February 11, 2019
2.
I have a big yellow picture on the wall that says “NOT ALL GIRLS ARE INTERESTED IN BEING NICE AND LIKED BY EVERYONE”. If it repels you then it’s doing its job https://t.co/psk7vL4dJA
— Beth McColl (@imteddybless) February 11, 2019
3.
Mirrors: indicates you like looking at yourself, but you should only be for him to look at. Refrigerator: suggests coldness. Windows and doors: too much like vaginal opening, could be emasculating.
— Dr. Moppety (@moppety) February 11, 2019
4.
My shopping trolley brings all the boys to my yard. pic.twitter.com/j686X8608I
— Lucy Robinson: What? (@chaletschoolfan) February 11, 2019
5.
Yours is very pretty. Mine is black.
— Soula Papadopoulos (@SoulaPapadopo) February 11, 2019
6.
You must put more effort in to attract the MENZ
— Lucy Robinson: What? (@chaletschoolfan) February 11, 2019
7.
All those people who suggested that it is because I am grumpy and judgmental and I hate meeting people will have to apologise.
— Soula Papadopoulos (@SoulaPapadopo) February 11, 2019
8.
*adorns herself with pictures of women on their own and cacti for long walks home in the dark*
— Dr Beth Singler (@BVLSingler) February 11, 2019
9.
A large ham on a plate shows visitors you would rather be eating ham than talking to them. pic.twitter.com/ZfOHFc8Q8X
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) February 11, 2019
10.
Thank god I saw this. I’ve cleared out my literature and crime fiction sections and replaced with home economics and sewing books. Now waiting for those men who I’ve been accidentally repelling.
— Anna Mazzola (@Anna_Mazz) February 11, 2019
11.
Do you know how many men’s homes I’ve gone back to where the bed is a mattress on the floor and you have to stick your head under the tap in the bath to wash your hair https://t.co/XxporauAP5
— Cass (@ceebrie) February 11, 2019
12.
I don’t know. If I were unsettled by the fact that she is a strong, intelligent, independent, single woman, interested in the gloomy sides of life as well as its delights, I might take solace in the fact she had a cactus to show she tolerates, or may even like, pricks.
— Paul Noordhof (@paulnoordhof) February 11, 2019
13.
See you later guys, I’m off to bin my tiny cactus, hide Sylvia Plath and disguise all my vases as umbrella holders. https://t.co/8eH41tL2jN
— Kate McCann (@KateEMcCann) February 11, 2019
14.
If it’s gonna repel Daily Mail readers, I want it in my house
— Claudia Conway (@ukseennotseen) February 11, 2019
