These might be the 34 greatest tweets of all time
There are so many jokes on Twitter, whether topical, visual or quirky, that it would be very difficult to name a favourite, yet when someone named Jess asked people to pick a favourite tweet, astonishingly, they stepped up. Having seen the suggestions, we’re not a bit surprised that they stuck in people’s minds.
What’s the best tweet you’ve ever seen? don’t think too hard just the first thing that comes to mind
— jess ⚪️ (@jessokfine) February 2, 2019
These are our 34 favourite – plus a bonus, because we’re good like that.
1.
Hello. This toon at noon is @FliesOpen on reading. pic.twitter.com/Sg4dakAqn7
— BƎCK (@new_toons) September 5, 2016
2.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
— TheAlexNevil, Regional Manager SW (@TheAlexNevil) October 14, 2016
3.
[park]
STRANGER: Your dog is unusual lookingME: Yeah, he's interbred
DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 5, 2015
4.
WHAT COLOUR ARE MIRRORS
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) June 15, 2013
5.
its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town
— wint (@dril) November 29, 2015
6.
https://twitter.com/notacroc/status/850163533421699072
7.
How many syllables does the word "Gloria" have?
CATHOLICS: 18
— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) December 25, 2016
8.
Imagine my surprise after having a soapy finger up my pumper in the shower when I found out the x factor theme was guilty pleasures too.
— Baby Jesus (@JCautomatic) November 17, 2012
9.
I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'.
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'— Pablo Egglescobar (@pauleggleston) August 1, 2014
10.
The saddest, tiniest hooves are the ill bee hooves.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) January 7, 2016
11.
[country music plays in elevator]
ME: I hate Toby Keith
HIM: This isn't Toby Keith
ME:(leans into his face) I don't give a shit who this is— Katrina (@EyeSeeYou619) May 29, 2017
12.
"The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to… what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) December 2, 2014
13.
MARY: Well, I just had a baby… in a barn. So, thanks to everyone who brought gifts. The gold, the perfumes. All things babies love.
Also the child who inexplicably played drums, like, right in my face.
This…this was great.— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) December 4, 2018
14.
"My body heat will probably iron you out by the time I get to work," he lied to the balled up shirt.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) April 11, 2016
15.
God *giggling*: They are gonna be so tiny.
Angel *writing*: ants… tiny… got it.
God *suddenly tearing up*: but omg so strong.
— robotic crab (beep) (@roboticcrab) November 23, 2018
16.
"Ha ha ha! Terrific!" – Mitt Romney, every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 5, 2012
17.
A good way to remember how many chains 2 Chainz has is to just think "he has 2 chains"
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 27, 2016
