Our 25 favourite jokes of the week
13.
Today I was walking down an icy snow drift when this guy holds his hand out to me. So I shake his hand, but he doesn’t shake back. You guys, he was trying to help me down so I wouldn’t fall and I responded by shaking his hand like I was president of the snow drift.
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) January 16, 2019
14.
Oh, Britain and exit. I get it.
— MostDeaf (@SnoozeActive) January 15, 2019
15.
I have genuinely found a post-it note in our dictionary. Because how else will they find that word again? pic.twitter.com/OIb5uccuAc
— DrLes Sloss (@DrLes) January 15, 2019
16.
What effect does it have if you put an exclamation mark instead of a question mark!
— Arthur Smith (@ArfurSmith) January 14, 2019
17.
He finally popped the question and I SAID NO pic.twitter.com/2QlW0hiXYo
— Celya AB (@abcelya) January 14, 2019
18.
Always dangerous shaving off stubble in January. This beard covers a multitude of chins
— Samuel West (@exitthelemming) January 17, 2019
19.
marry someone u only kinda like so if u get a divorce it won’t be that bad
— James (@CaucasianJames) January 11, 2019
20.
The first ever crowdfunding attempt was by John Carpenter in 1981. “Can you all give me a tenner each? It’s for a Thing”
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) January 17, 2019
21.
The age restriction on toys these days is crazy. It’s healthy and safety gone mad! pic.twitter.com/DsrYd2yUQf
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) January 9, 2019
22.
If a picture really does speak a thousand words, I'm guessing it's a picture of my mother telling me who she briefly bumped into at the shops.
— Jason (@NickMotown) January 16, 2019
23.
Watergate is starting to look like something cute with a boopable nose.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) January 18, 2019
24.
Han Solo and Shrek dress the same
— Drew (@poohcowboy_drew) January 15, 2019
25.
Wooooaaah…
We're half way there,
Wooooaa-oaaah… pic.twitter.com/pxhekYkx9Z— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 17, 2019
Same time next week?