Someone ordered a parcel of crickets and it went about as well as you’d expect
At least some members of the household felt the benefit.
Of course by this point many had migrated elsewhere. They were in the closet. In the shoes. Making their way downstairs to the playroom. The cats were having what I can only imagine was the greatest day of their lives.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
Hercules would have balked at this task.
I tried to collect all of them. It was like the world's shittiest game of Pokemon. But here we are, roughly 10 hours after the initial catastrophe, and stray crickets are still turning up in odd places.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
It seemed like it might be Christopher’s undoing …
I make this information public because if I do not send any tweets tomorrow, it is because my wife murdered me after finding a cricket in our bed in the middle of the night.
And that's the news from Red Lake Falls.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
Luckily, that didn’t happen.
I'm pleased to report that I'm still alive, and that my marriage is still intact! You all had so much fun with this that my editor made me turn it into a story, which I present to you here, as a sort of director's cut of this thread. https://t.co/oXuG9Tj4yy
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
There were unreasonable requests from the public.
To all you monsters who demanded photos of the infestation: believe it or not, while a horde of crickets was marauding through my house I did not think to whip out my phone and start snapping pics
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
I mean, can you imagine?
Wife: THERE'S A CRICKET IN MY PUMPKIN PIE
Me: This is tremendous content, where's my phone— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
If nothing else, it was very entertaining.
But I'm glad you all enjoyed our suffering, we've been laughing our asses off at your responses all day which almost makes it all worth it. To my new followers, I look forward to disappointing you in 2019.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 29, 2018
Some of the funny responses that must have helped Christopher to retain his sanity include these:
So same thing happened to me, except I opened the box to 2000 dead crickets and was totally bummed, only to find out the next morning that they hibernate.
— DontKnowMeSucka Ω (@DontKnowMeSucka) December 30, 2018
I will not spoil your fun with the story of ordering live cockroaches for an experiment in a college biology class I was teaching. Let us just say that putting 2 inches of Vaseline around the upper circumference of an aquarium does NOT keep cockroaches from escaping!
— Sandy Keith Buckles (@SandyBuckles) December 29, 2018
We should all regularly leave boxes of crickets on our porches for the package thieves.
— Cassady (@Cassady34) December 30, 2018
This happened to me but it was millions of baby hissing cockroaches that escaped the tank after we bought a freshly pregnant one from a repticon. I was unaware of this when I got home. I thought she was just fat lol. My husband was SUPER UNHAPPY. Lmao!!
— ❄Ya Filthy Animal❄ (@Gudetamom) December 29, 2018
Although most people reacted with a mixture of horror and humour, one young girl must have thought crickets sounded like fun.
After @jrmstrong read us this story, the 7 yr old left these around while practicing her cricket call. pic.twitter.com/n2G6fKi9U1
— mark d. jarvis (@markdjarvis) December 30, 2018
Perhaps she has a cat.
