Brits are trolling the NY Times after it asked about petty crime in London and it’s glorious
Why do Londoners drive on the left side of the road, and keep left to let other cars past, BUT then stick to the right on escalators? Wtf is that
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) December 13, 2018
a neighbour tried to start a conversation, once
— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) December 13, 2018
£6 for a pint. Daylight robbery!
— Gareth Owen (@GarethAOwen1) December 13, 2018
Woman 1st off the Bakerloo line tube at Piccadilly this morning walked up the stairs still looking at her phone. Chaos. Police nowhere to be seen.
— Chris Williams (@cjrw1981) December 13, 2018
My trusted valet Jenkins witnessed a scuffle between an errant ne’er-do-well and a learned pig over who would eat the final chestnut at the frost fair, and he was most alarmed that the pig uttered several barbed insults in the Latin tongue, but using the vocative. Most unseemly.
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 13, 2018
Once I doffed my hat to someone and they didn’t doff their hat back
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 13, 2018
Saw someone try and join the middle of a queue once to join their friend. Luckily the police were on hand to tut loudly at them until they moved to the rear.
— Tom (@tommo_tv) December 13, 2018
£40 cinema tickets at the Odeon in Leicester Square.
— Richard HP (@richardhp) December 13, 2018
I once saw a pigeon nick a mayonnaise sachet from an old couple on a park bench
— Jingle Bells, Brexit Smells (@jimxant) December 13, 2018
I was unable to enter Camden for at least a decade because I didn’t look enough like a member of Blur.
— Jason Hood (@rail_pics) December 13, 2018
The day I moved to London someone threw a fork at me from an upstairs window as I walked on the street below.
I didn’t realise at the time, but thanks to an ancient by-law, it turns out I’m now entitled to have three of my sheep marry the offender’s firstborn daughter.
— Tom Green (@TomDGreen) December 13, 2018
People queue for restaurants on a daily basis despite those restaurants never being particularly good and the police still won’t disperse the culprits
— Sophie Petzal (@Sonic_Screwup) December 13, 2018
The urchin who swept my chimney refused to come down, claiming he was stuck. Even lighting the fire under him wouldn’t get him to drop the pretence and eventually it cost me 2 guineas to have his corpse removed and disposed of. I am still livid about it.
— Andrew R (@ExcelPope) December 13, 2018
someone clipped me with their trolley in Waitrose the other day and only apologised once
— Josh Barrie (@joshbythesea) December 13, 2018
My children were abducted by their nanny and discovered cavorting with a troupe of dancing chimney sweeps.
— Chris Smith (@itschrissmith) December 13, 2018