Donald Trump tops ‘modern Christmas cracker jokes’ competition (and it’s not fake news)
A gag about Donald Trump has come top of a competition to come up with the best new ‘modern Christmas cracker joke’.
Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Love Island and Harry and Meghan’s wedding also featured among the favourite topical cracker gags in the annual competition run by TV channel Gold.
The good people of Gold challenged people to come up with the finest modern Christmas cracker jokes, which were then voted for by the British public.
And here are the top 15 (you’ll have to make your own ‘bang’ sound though).
1.
What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off
2.
Why is Theresa May encouraging board games at Christmas? Because she’s trying to bring back Chequers
3.
Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play? No prophet
4.
What does Philip Green buy former employees for Christmas? Their silence
5.
When do sheep practice their new dance? While shepherds watched them floss by night
6.
What’s the difference between the Love Island villa and the stable where Jesus was born? The stable has had some wise men in it
7.
Why does Kim Kardashian hate Christmas so much? She’s always the butt of the Christmas cracker jokes
8.
What is Meghan buying Harry, William and Charles for Christmas? Suits
9.
Why was everyone hungover after Roxanne Pallett’s Christmas Party? She misjudged the strength of the punch
10.
Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents? Because Kanye is Trump’s favourite wrapper
11.
What’s the biggest complaint about Network Rail’s Christmas seasoning? They keep changing the thyme
12.
Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he’s tired of being in the single market
13.
What’s the only thing that goes on longer than Christmas? Harry and Meghan’s wedding preacher
14.
What did Banksy serve with his Christmas turkey? Shred sauce
15.
Who won the North Pole Love Island? Dani Deer
